this is what falling in love feels like

relentless

I still remember how you looked that night, windblown hair and carefree eyes filled to the brim in adoration as your lips pressed against mine. You spun me on the beach, laughter overwhelming the air and sand flinging from underneath our feet, completely oblivious to the storm approaching overhead. If only we had paid more attention to the clouds.

You said that nothing in this life could ever tear us apart. I wish that were true.

​Life is fragile and malleable, an accumulation of memories easily altered by one moment, that one moment, rarely known at the time it occurs, which can change the perception of yourself, conception of the world, interpretation of existence. More often than not, many, rather than strictly one, moment of utter revelation occurs in a person's life, but even so, there is always that one in particular instance you can distinguish out of the collection which held more impact than the others.

Mine happened on a Saturday.

I was sat across from a young woman at the coffee shop around the corner from around midmorning until the sun grew drowsy and began its descent to rest. About a week had passed since she approached the bar to order a drink at a local venue and found the newly hired bartender to be a friend she had not encountered in almost half a decade. More than acquaintances yet just shy of "best friends" once, we had lost touch with one another in college, our friendship softly fading away like most high school relationships do. Even still, when we stumbled upon each other, nostalgia of older, simpler times arose in both of us, and we quickly agreed to meet some other time at some other place to grow reacquainted.

​Conversation was riddled in necessary small talk at first, asking how each other was, comments on the excessive heat for an October day and excitement for the cool weather November promised, etc. Only a few minutes passed before the pointless chatter faded, neither of us having ever been fond of small talk. We quickly dove into much more appealing dialogue, exchanging small tales from the past years.

​"You are lying," she said, her jaw falling slack in disbelief.

"I swear i'm not! You can imagine my surprise when I showed up for a blind date to meet this hot guy only to find the asshole I hadn't seen in three years sitting there waiting for me!"

"That's insane! Did you still stay for dinner?"

I nodded. "I mean I wasn't going to turn down a free meal just because he slept with my sister all those years ago. He hasn't changed one bit either. Once we finished eating, he asked if I was going to pay!"

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. We both erupted in laughter, turning a few heads in the small coffee shop, though neither of us cared, too engaged in our own conversation.

​"Yeah, no joke. So, I told him I would after I went to the bathroom."

"Did you really?"

"Oh, hell no," I laughed. "I walked in that direction, and when he turned his head, I just left the restaurant. Haven't heard from him since."

Our laughter persisted for another few minutes before subtly fading into contentment.

I told her about my life, the story of my adventures and affairs since the two of us had last spoken, which was a tale in and of itself reserved for another time. I did not tell her about you, though. You have always been a secret worth keeping.

"Anyhow, what has been going on with you?" I asked once we quieted.

​A faint trace of a smile still laid on her lips, but the rest of her features fell almost solemn at the sudden change in topic. She redirected her eyes and attention to anywhere and anyone but me.