1D Sickficks

Overwhelmed (Louis)

Trigger warning/self harm. Okay I'm not going to say much about this except that this is a warning there will be mention and possibly details of self harming. I'm not quite sure where this story is going to go I guess I'll see as I write it. I'm aware this is a heavy/sensitive topic and I apologise if it upsets anyone. With that being said I'm going to continue writing.

Recently Louis had been feeling overwhelmed, with the tour and everything that he had going on it was just so much. His current lifestyle was really taking a toll on his mental health. All together he just wasn't happy anymore. Nobody knew this though. He was good at hiding it. Not even his loving boyfriend Harry knew the way he was really feeling. You see on the outside Louis looked as happy as ever, always smiling and laughing even making jokes. But on the inside, he was numb. He wasn't feeling anything. Not happiness. Not sadness. Not anger. Nothing. He almost felt as though he was a zombie. Just aimlessly walking around feeling nothing and feeling as though there was no reason to live. He wasn't going to do it though, he wasn't going to kill himself. He couldn't do that and leave everyone behind, that's not something he felt like doing.

That's when it started. He didn't know why he did it at first it just sort of happened. He was about to shower and he was stood in the bathroom when he saw it. A razor. Without thinking he picked it up and started cutting. One, two, three and four cuts to his left thigh. Then one, two, three and four cuts to his right thigh. He looked down at his legs and realised what he had done. Slowly, he got into the shower and washed the blood off. When he finished in the shower he got out and put anti-septic cream on his cuts as to not let them get infected.

After that first time it became a usual occurrence for Louis. He soon realised why he was doing it though. Through all the numbness the cutting brought feeling. Sure that feeling was pain but it was a good pain. A sort of pain that brought him clarity. He knew exactly what he was feeling whilst he was slicing his skin. He couldn't let any of the boys know though. He had to hide it. That's why he strictly kept the cutting to his thighs, that way its easier for him to hide and hopefully no one will see it.

It was a Friday night around 10pm and the boys had just got back to their shared apartment after a concert. As per usual Louis went into the bathroom and locked the door, or so he thought, and grabbed his razor. He went through his usual routine of cutting his legs until the blood started. It felt good. He liked that he could feel something.  When he started another cut the door opened, he tried to move but he was too late. In walked Liam, "Louis? What are you doing in here?" That's when he noticed Louis' thighs. "Oh mate, are you okay?" He asked. "That's a stupid question of course you aren't okay," he continued, "do you want to talk about it?"

"Liam, I need you to promise me you aren't going to tell the others. Especially Harry, he'd just worry too much and I can't do that to him. Just make sure you don't tell anyone. Pretend this never happened." Louis rambled, tears in his eyes. He didn't want anyone to know, he didn't want people to worry about him, that's wasn't fair.

"Look mate, I won't tell anyone I promise but do you want to talk about it? You don't have to tell me anything you don't want, I just want to understand what you're going through. What's happening mate?" Liam asked in a calming tone, really wanting to understand the problems his friend was having.

"Mm huh." Louis sniffed, agreeing to talking.

"Okay, do you want to get cleaned up a bit first love?" Liam asked already going to the sink and wetting a wash cloth with warm water. With a nod from Louis, he brought it over and stated wiping the blood off of Louis' thighs.

After he was done cleaning him up, Liam grabbed some tissue and wiped Louis' wet eyes, drying the tears. "There we go mate, all cleaned up."

"Are the boys in bed already?" Louis asked timidly.