The Silence of a Somber Day

Southern Winds

Despite his upbringing and demeanor, Tommy cared about people. He felt sorrow for the murdered, sympathy for the insane, and a desire to protect the civilians. Tommy knew firsthand how gruesome humans could be. He knew emotions like desperation and anger could drive rational men mad. Tommy himself has committed unfavorable actions in the pursuit of justice. Tommy knew that world peace was unattainable, and he knew that for every criminal he sent to Spawn, another two rose in its place like cutting the Hydra's neck. Still, Tommy fought for that peace, because if only one person could be saved, Tommy would take the risk.

That was how Tommy cared about people: from afar. He imprisoned the criminals that would disrupt their lives without saying a single word to them. The masses didn't know who Tommy was, not as this false persona or as Tempest. His name sparked fear in the underworld, not hope in the populace. He was the hero that never made the first page, but had compassion for the overlooked prostitutes and runaways.

That was why he couldn't understand people like Wilbur and Niki. There love language was physical touch. While Tommy could appreciate a good hug or a shoulder to cry on, he couldn't stand it when they got close to him- physically or mentally. Tommy had spent his life barely touching shoulders with SapNap or George, and those two were practically Tommy's big brothers. Tommy had to step away from the pair whenever they got emotional because that was about the time when they needed something Tommy couldn't provide.

This was also why he clicked with Sam. The green haired man was an Acts of Service type of person. Tommy noticed that right away. Sam tried doing things for other people, (the people he cared about) but he didn't engage in conversation or get personal with people unless that was what they sought him out for. Tommy found his peace telling Sam stories while the latter worked on Redstone or other hotel improvements. What made it better is that Sam could usually recite what Tommy had said and ask thoughtful questions. Tommy didn't know who good it felt to be listened to. He was never a hero for the attention, but to receive even a little bit of appreciation made Tommy feel more positive emotions than he knew what to do with.

Today was the day, however, that Tommy, Drista, and Purpled would investigate the drug dealer and the smuggling of blood to the Cult of Red. Tommy didn't let this effect his work ethic, but it did take a toll on his mental awareness of people. Niki would squeeze his hand in reassurance, Nook would call out a nice greeting, and Jack would give a friendly smile, but Tommy couldn't reciprocate their happy feelings.

Tommy was finishing up the laundry. He had to put the detergent and dryer sheets on the shelves while folding up a few more towels. Tommy did these without thinking to the point that he caught himself standing in the middle of the room like an idiot with nothing to do. Tommy slapped the sides of his cheeks before he grabbed his keys. Tommy locked up the laundry room. He walked into the main room where Sam was typing away on a computer. Using his sense of smell, Tommy knew that Nook was somewhere in the back. Sam looked up at Tommy with a sad smile as Tommy put the laundry room keys on the hook.

"Tommy, can we talk for a minute?" Sam asked. Tommy gave him a long stare before nodding hesitantly. Tommy leaned against the counter of the front desk. Sam was right beside him, shorter because he was sitting in the chair and facing the opposite direction as Tommy. Sam sighed. "I know that you have a past that you would rather not talk about. I know that there is some dissonance with you and personal relationships. I still want you to know that I'm here for you."

Tommy kept his stare even. He could open up to Sam about his past, his old home and his mother and the pain of abandoning his best friend. Tommy could explain his codependency, how he abandoned his best friend again along with a new friend and their son, how he was terrified of making close relationships because they could be used against him or he would have to abandon the people eventually. Tommy could talk about his dangerous job and how his life was threatened on a daily bases.

Except, Tommy couldn't do that. Because Tempest lived one life, and Sam lived a very different life, and those two lives couldn't interact. Those two lives could barely coexist. Tommy had no right burdening Sam with the truth.

It still made Tommy feel special that Sam proposed the idea in the first place, though.

"Sam, I'm a Big Man. And as a Big Man, I can take care of myself. However, I consider you a Big Man with a very pog dog, which means that I might take you up on that offer. Someday. Not today, though," Tommy said with a half-smile. "Sam, I'm just a man in the world. There are thousands of us, billions of us, out there, doing what we can do with what we have. Some of us make bad decisions. Some of us practically rule the world."

"What are you, then? If not someone who makes bad decisions or rules the world, what kind of man are you?" Sam asked. This is what Tommy meant. Sam listened. Sam asked. He made Tommy think instead of reiterating what he had previously said. Sam was a different type of person, that was for sure.

"Hmmm... well, I'm a man who started at the bottom, as one of the forgotten. I ran into a bit of luck. I rose to be among the top, but not really one of the top, y'know? I had good friends, though, they were my family. I fell from that. I haven't hit rock bottom. More like the Twilight Zone in the ocean. I have you, now. I have Niki, Wilbur, Puffy, Quackity. I have Fran. I'm acquainted with Techno and Phil. I have my cousin Purpled. I have an ally named Drista. I miss the life I had, but I won't regret experiencing this one," Tommy said with a bittersweet expression. This was the most honest he had been with somebody in a long time. Tommy couldn't remember what it felt like. Honesty wasn't part of Tempest's job.

"I'm glad I got to know you, too, Tommy. You're a tough kid and sometimes difficult to manage, but you work hard and you care deeply. You may not understand your emotions. You may push people away in fear of rejection or abandonment. But you opened your heart to me, at least, and I think that's an important step to recovery," Sam said with a nod. He turned back to his work without another word. Tommy wasn't done talking yet.

"What do you mean by 'recovery'? I'm a Big Man! I don't have any wounds! I'm all healed up," Tommy said with a hard stare. He could feel his face twitch, trying to form into an expression that would coherently explain his emotions. There was too many for his face to decide on.

"Tommy... someone, a long time ago, lit a fire inside your soul. Ever since that combustion, you have been burning alive, and you don't know it. All these acts you do are because you have been scarred. I want to help you recovery. I want you to experience life without the pains of your past," Sam said with such a sorrowful expression that Tommy had to look away.

"I can take fucking care of myself. I don't need shits like you trying to be my therapist. I'm mentally fucked up, but I don't need your poetic bullshit about how I'm 'burning'. I didn't grow up somewhere special. My Dad left me before I was out of the womb, and my mother treated me more like an ally than a son. I don't need someone like you saying that you care about me," Tommy snapped with rage painting his face red. His knuckles went white from the grip on the counter as he pushed himself away with enough force to knock over the small basket of writing utensils.

"I'm not trying to be anything in your life that you don't want," Sam said calmly. It was unnerving how every time Tommy got boiling angry, Sam remained stoic and peaceful. His voices was soothing, and the mix of gunpowder and Redstone was a scent his nose enjoyed. Everything about Sam would be geared to making Tommy feel better, and the blonde was conflicted on how to feel about that.

"I fucking hate you. I hate how you make me feel. I hate you seem to understand me when I don't give you anything to understand! I hate how I want you in my life even though I know you can't stay. I hate how you're willing to be in my life even though I do everything I can to piss you off and make you leave," Tommy said, stubbornly clinging to anger even when he felt like he needed to cry. "You're not my-"

Tommy cut himself off. Instead of finishing his thought, Tommy went around the front desk. He gave Sam the middle finger as he walked out of the hotel into the chilling night. Sam let a small smile grace his face. Despite the turbulent ending, Sam had managed to get closer with Tommy. Sam knew more about his past, and knew where he stood in Tommy's mind. Sam was satisfied with that conversation.

Sam stood up with his coffee mug in hand. He went over to the door that led to the back. He knocked on it twice to alert Nook of his presence. "Jack will be here in about twenty minutes. I have some... business to attend to."

Sam left the hotel. He went home. Sam stayed at home all night.

The Warden had places to be...