Black Rose (Rosé X Male Reader)

Chapter 29 (True Culprit)

Rosé's POV

*sigh* Fan meeting, autographing, cheering with my members and the BLINKS... it never felt so... normal. Lisa was as loud as ever, Jennie Unnie melted many guys as many as anyone could realize, and Jisoo Unnie never stopped playing with her rabbit plushie her fans gave her.

But me? ... I hadn't been myself today. Meeting the BLINKS... it had always been a good time that I would gladly stay longer than the others. Where I got to laugh with everyone, met my fans that were happy to see me.

And... I became really happy doing it. It became something that could refresh me for my tomorrow.

But for the longest time, I had never felt something that something negative about this. Everything went smoothly, safe and sound. And I would come back home with a smile on my face.

Shame, I believed that this would be the day when things like that wouldn't happen today... With this gap inside my heart, and this pain that kept eating my spirit away, I tried my hardest to look 'okay' in front of everyone who would become worry if they saw something odd.

Unfortunately, that was the hardest point that I had to maintain so things wouldn't go south. Saying 'Hello, nice to meet you!' or 'We love you more, BLINKS!'... it was not easy to say even if they were good things.

Saying such things when your heart didn't go along with it... it became something that was more toxic than a poison. I didn't even know if this was normal or not anymore...

Trying to look 'strong' and 'kicking', it wasn't my strong suit.

"Hello, Rosé!" a BLINK dragged me out of my head with a surprised upon myself.

"O-Oh! H-H-Hello!" I instantly put up my 'normal' face once again. And once more, with more force on it.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I finally got to meet you! It took me so long to get to-" 'Blah blah blah blah blah'. That was how my head would react to his chattering. I didn't even bother listening to him as the longer he spoke, the more I got really bored. And the more my strong face crumbled.

I just couldn't help myself. I got to tired that I didn't want to do this anymore. I COULDN'T do this anymore. I wish this would just stop, right now. I didn't' want to this anymore... not for me, not for the Blackpink, not for anyone... just myself.

You might think that this was selfish. All I talked about was me, me, and me. But the more I didn't think about it, the more I felt I was losing myself. Sometime, I wish people would just disappear for a moment and I got a split second for myself...

They all thought I was okay, safe and sound... but they never knew! And they never understood from the very beginning... and I didn't think they would.

How it felt to lose someone precious to you... and you had to put on a brave face afterward. It pained me a lot, and I wouldn't want to guess how long this would last, since it would only make my head even more smoky.

"Chaeyoung... Park Chaeyoung!"

"H-Huh?!" someone pulled me forcefully out of my train of thought, and dragged my mind back to reality to see more people in front of me, with concern look.

I looked to my left to see the person who called me out of my head, Lisa, with the same concern face she put on just like everyone I was faced with.

"You okay? Do-do you need a drink?" She put her small hand on my shoulder, making the others got even more worried.

Crap... "N-No! I'm okay! J-just thinking of the 'live' we were going to do later!" I didn't lie when we were going to do this live on V-Live later... but I guess I lied about the part where I thought about the live stuff.