Fields of Heaven

Confessions

Andrew

                  Madison learned to teleport quicker than any other assignment that I’ve ever had.  Daniel told her, ‘close your eyes, and think real hard about home,’ and she did.  Before I knew it we were no longer standing in the field with Daniel, but holding hands real tight in what appeared to be a living room.  The colors were warm: mostly browns, maroons and gold’s; there was a faux fireplace tucked in the corner and a large picture frame hung above it. A man with a strong jaw and dark hair stood next to a woman, nearly half his size; her mahogany colored skin looked smooth and her expression, soft, but her eyes looked sad. The little girl that stood between them glowed and her long hair, as dark as the man’s, surrounded her face like a mane.

“Are those your parents?”

“Yes! That’s mama and daddy! I’m home, Andrew, I’m home!”  Madison snatched away from me and ran from room to room, calling out to her parents.  I knew that she wouldn’t receive a response, but I let her race from each end of the house.  She was so excited that I wanted to prolong her happiness despite the coming disappointment. 

I’m going to break this little girl’s heart.

“Andrew, I don’t think they’re here.  Can we go out and find them!?” I looked around the living room once more, before I ventured into the other quarters.  Madison followed me around like an animated puppy, crossing in front of me and then behind me, filling me in on memories from each room.

“This is my room! Daddy used to read me story books and mama threw tea parties for all of my friends!”

“That’s sweet, Madison, let’s just stick around and wait for them, okay?”

“Can’t we look for them?  I’m sure mama’s only at the grocery store. She misses me, I know it!”

“Of course she misses you, but we can’t leave here.”

Madison’s lips formed a frown, “but why not?”

“Because now, we’re in the in-between and we can’t walk amongst the living—we can only make amends with our love ones and then go.”

“No,” Madison crossed her arms and shook her head back and forth, “you can go; I’m staying here with mama and daddy.”

“But you can’t stay here, Madison. You belong with the Angels, remember?” Madison began to cry. 

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.  My life was ended at twenty, an age where death was long since, explained to me.  How could I explain eternal life, without actually living, to a little girl who hadn’t yet experienced, living?

“Madison, you died, do you understand that?”

Her big brown eyes stared up at me.  I can never forget that look.  It was the same one that her mama had in the photograph that hung over the fireplace.  It was a look of betrayal, confusion, and pain.

“But why did I have to die?”

“I don’t know—I just don’t know.”