Indecent Pawn

Chapter Two

Allison was seriously damaged goods if there was ever such a species. She sometimes felt like a used tampon or condom the way Derek would punish her body. His sick idea of punishments ranged from emotional, spiritual, and lastly physical. Emotionally she was dependent on him because she was officially alone in the world. After several failed attempts of becoming pregnant she had gave up any chances of her ever having their child. Somehow she thought if she could at least give him offspring, someone to carry on his name he would look at her differently. Sadly that wasn’t the case for she has gone through three miscarriages and now nothing but negative tests afterwards.

Of course it was her fault that she couldn’t conceive their love child, further infuriating her husband. At least that’s what she constantly hears. That never stopped him from trying to get her pregnant during his times of need. There have been times that he would force her to stay in the bed for days on her back wide open for him. Only allowing her to get up to use the restroom and keep his playground clean. He was OCD in so many areas of his life accept the act of keeping his filthy hands and words to himself. The truth was the reason why she lost each of the pregnancies was mainly connected to something he had done.

The first pregnancy was terminated after mysteriously falling down the stairs of their home. At least that was the story they told the doctors. After that he vowed to never put his hands on her again. Of course that was all a fabrication to sooth her tears and threats of leaving him if he didn’t get help. That lasted all of six months before the slaps started flying again. Quickly he reminded her that she had nothing, no one that cared, and nowhere to go if she did leave him. The second she lost during one of his wild nights of sex. The punishing blows in her lower region resulted in them miscarrying once more. And the fact that she had an untreated case of chlamydia didn’t help matters either. Once again it was her fault that happened.  

The third pregnancy was dropped into the toilet of her punishment area in the basement of their home. Largely because of the stress she was under being kept there with minimal food and constant warnings to behave. Having grown a pair of balls is what landed her in the predicament she should have known better than to skate on. She couldn’t blame it on nothing but the pregnancy hormones. Too bad she didn’t know she was pregnant before she was locked in solitary confinement or she could have possibly prevented that outcome. She had given up the idea of conceiving so she thought nothing of being pregnant being that her period continued with no setbacks. That mishap she kept from him for she didn’t want to suffer his wrath of yet another failure. Somehow it would always end up being her fault anyway as everything else. There was always a small part of rebellion inside her at all times but the timid parts of her would quickly show up shutting that down.

Once she tried to gain some sort of spiritual independence only to have him slap the taste from her mouth for trying to educate him on how he was living. Certain things he did she was sure he was possessed with an evil spirit that convinced him to be so cruel. To his wife, the one he vowed to love and hold, not to punish and hold hostage. His parents were no help in the matter for they were upstanding, holy bible throwing individuals. In his mother’s words exactly; “Wives are to be submissive to their husbands. Men are to rule with an iron fist. Proverbs 27:15 says the downfall of good Christian men is a contentious woman. Proverbs 31:11 and 31:30 speaks of the faithful and perfect woman.” Since Allison was void of a woman role model coming up to teach her how to be a good Christian woman and wife, she believed what the woman was teaching her.

Derek often lied about them attending church regularly. They only visited with her in-laws during the holidays being they lived over five hundred miles away. That didn’t stop them from calling faithfully to minister to her and going as far as to add her to her prayer list. Needless to say she had no room to talk to anyone of her marital woes and hardships. Trying to read the bible herself only confused her for the woman who was her chosen mentor tainted and taught the verses in her beliefs. Spirituality tended to suffer due to the confusion and no clear signs in sight, she gave up. Furthermore she figured if God truly loved her as it has been said so often, why he would allow her such hardships to render her helpless was unanswered as well. Such pain that would sometimes take so long to heal.