Waxing Crescent (Alice Cullen x Bella Swan)

Chapter 12 - Odd Company

"I- hrmph. At least I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant."

"Dad!" I gasped, my face uncomfortably hot.

I instinctively glanced over at the backdoor.

"Sorry... Sorry!" Charlie floundered, "I'm just trying to make sense of all of... Everything. I mean, it's pretty out of the blue, Bella. I-I'm sorry," He ducked his head, hoping perhaps that the shadows cast from his thickly set brows would do away with the awkwardness that now choked us both.

"Wait, come to think of it... Is this why you were so mad about Jake?"

I stared him down incredulously. An early grave was seeming more and more hospitable - the urge to bury myself under copious amounts of dirt nearly overwhelming.

"Uh-," He lifted his eyes.

He searched frantically and landed on an unhelpful Alice.

"What am I supposed to say here?" His eyes darted between us both.

She just shrugged her shoulders, lifting a hand to pitifully stifle a giggle.

She failed, and I frowned.

"I suppose," Charlie stalled, lifting a heavy hand to pat at my shoulder, " Good going, kid?"

I groaned loudly, my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

"I think we're done here," I grunted, swallowing back a flurry of expletives, "Alice and I are going to my room now. Thank you. Bye."

I snatched her hand and hurriedly raced out of the kitchen and towards the stairwell.

To my relief, Charlie didn't follow.

It wasn't a good time to start setting ground rules, anyway. Not that Charlie would even know what to say or do about girls being up in my room. I doubt he'd ever thought they'd be a threat to his daughter's virtue. Not that I could even get Alice to jeopardize it, of course.

She caught me as I stumbled, my feet scuffing against the lip of the step, propping me back up like I was as light and maneuverable as a doll. I pushed back the shock and continued my flurried race towards sanctuary.

"So," Alice trilled after I pushed my door shut with more force than necessary, "I think that went surprisingly well."

"Are you kidding?" I snapped my head around, mouth agape, "That was a total train-wreck! He said, AND I QUOTE, 'At least you won't get pregnant?'"

"Um, Bella," Alice smirked, trailing her fingers over my bookshelf as she began to peruse, "Technically, he is right. I would take some naive practicality over burning you at the stake any day of the week. Especially when it is this amusing."

She edged towards me, her words joined by fingers eagerly tapping in rhythmic precision atop the tip of my nose, "That, of course, my dear, is the most important part."

I narrowed my eyes at her, fretting my lower lip. Her smugness remained irritatingly fixed upon angelic features.

"Why do you have to be so annoying?"

"Because it is fun. And because I know you will instantly forgive me."

She stepped closer, her cold fingers running over the hollow of my neck. Her new preoccupation, as it so often was, my flushed skin.

I let out a long and heavy sigh.

"Look," Alice continued, using the tips of her fingers to push against my jaw so I met her eyes, "It really is not so bad, love. Sure, embarrassing - but nothing terrible. I honestly thought you were worried he would be angry or...," She shook her head, "But, instead, this was what you feared most? You were just worried about awkwardness? You can be so utterly absurd, Bella."