Waxing Crescent (Alice Cullen x Bella Swan)

Chapter 22 - Improper Distractions

It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be; Staying with Alice ended up being a blessed distraction.

But, of course, it wasn't all sunshine and roses. How could it be?

Was it truly so wrong that a part of me wished for one of Alice's brothers to just disappear off the face of the Earth? 

Probably. 

At least the brother in question was good at staying out of our way.

For some odd reason, any time we were all in the same room together, Edward would seemingly be repelled by some unknown force.

At first, I thought Jasper was responsible; That he'd so totally aligned himself with Alice and I's cause, he consciously or subconsciously warded Edward off for us. 

I quickly realized that was impossible. Jasper went hunting one night and had taken his mysterious powers with him. All the while, Edward continued to maintain his considerable distance.

In the end, I just chalked up Edward's scarcity to Alice's palpable rage - after all, what more of a deterrent could any one person need?

In a sick way I was sort of grateful to Edward. Grateful for the curiosity. Grateful for the distraction.

Worrying about him felt more manageable. 

Whenever my mind drifted to Weylan or to my Father, Edward miraculously appeared, or disappeared, to stir frivolous emotions and thoughts elsewhere. 

If I'd been forced to pick a burden to bear, the easier choice was obvious. I'd pick Edward's absurdist fanaticism and borderline-psychotic stalking any day of the week.

I used to hate it... But now? It was so easy. Practically welcomed!

But that's not how grief ever works, is it?

You don't get to pick your burdens, let alone take one off to shoulder another.

I had to carry both hardships equally. And painfully.

"What are you thinking, my love?"

Alice's fingers ran rhythmically up and down the base of my scalp, trailing through my hair and occasionally dipping lower to massage the curve of my neck.

I nestled closer under the covers, her unnaturally warm body serving as the consummate heat-pack. 

"Not much," I dismissed, looking out through her tall bedroom windows. 

I looked from star to star - analyzing each bright spark methodically. Not a single one was able to salve my numbness, of course.

Oh well. It was worth a try.

"He will be okay, Bella. I promise," Alice breathed into my hair, tilting her head down to leave a searing kiss on my forehead.

"I just wish he didn't have to go through this alone. I should have stayed. I wish Weylan was still alive. I wish... It just hasn't really sunk in, y'know? I can't imagine how he must feel. Charlie's always been a bit of a loner, but Weylan and Billy were able to cut through all of that. With Weylan gone...," I closed my eyes, words choking in the back of my throat.

"Honey, he has you. He is not alone and never will be. Not only that, you should not worry yourself over that which is not under your control. This is your Father's journey, and you need to trust him to sail through the storm. You can help him, but only when he asks you to. He is a strong man - I have noticed that much - and he would not want your pity or your needless suffering." 

"But he won't always have me, will he?" I tilted my head up, daring her to deny it, "One day, probably sooner than later, I will be just like you. I won't look the same. Maybe I won't even feel the same. No, I know I won't. Instead of just being a good daughter - loving him like a daughter would - I'll want for nothing more than his blood."