lollipops and neighbors

3 -

Wonyoung POV.

"Wonyoung-ah!"

"Hahahah! Look at her, she could only come here with her Dad! Sucks not to have a Mom right?"

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My name's Jang Wonyoung.

All my life, there was only 1 thing i've lacked.. 1 thing i've been dying for.

Love.

Im not talking about sex, chocolates, roses, and presents.

Im talking about having someone who cares about me, and someone i could care for.

But if i were to be honest, im already blinded by this undying wish for love.

Im so blinded, that i kept holding on to things i don't deserve, and don't deserve me.

My father passed away when i was in middle school, due to a mass shooting.

I was in such a bad mood that day, since she didn't want to buy me my dream phone unless i ranked in the top-3 of my class.

Since i never knew she would leave me so suddenly.. i never got the chance to say sorry.

I didn't talk to her for 3 days, leading up to the incident.

-

Look at me now.

I work all my energy off, just to be able to continue studying. Since my dad could only manage to spare money for my food, far from the edge of Busan.

Im pretty lucky to become the RA for the International Student's Dorm, since it meant i was able to stay in a dorm that was fairly cheap.

To be honest.. im pretty ashamed and embarrassed that i couldn't live like my other friends.

How they could have fun, while i'd always have to work.

Every Monday to Tuesday, i would have to work in this ice-cream shop with my boyfriend.

While every Wednesday to Sunday, i'd have to work in the convenience store alone, and work at a Chinese restaurant at night.

I would get yelled at, told that im worthless, pushed over.

The worst feeling to me was being called out by someone who knew me, while i was working.

It makes me feel so small. It makes me feel like im on a way lower level than they are.

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Other than my work, i couldn't seem to do anything right.

While my grades are really good, i was terrible at every other thing.

I don't know how to dress up like how the other girls do, and i didn't understand what's supposed to happen in a relationship.

That's exactly how i got into my relationship.

I never knew, what a toxic relationship was.

So i always thought that when he yells at me, touches me out of nowhere, and when he would ask me to do 'it' with him when he's mad, i always thought they were all normal.

I always thought that it was.. love.

-

"Baby.. Wonyoung-ah, are you ok?" My boyfriend, Jung Hanseo asked me worriedly.

I love him, what he does to me doesn't matter. I just love him. At least that's what i tell myself.

"Im fine, babe." I forced a smile, wiping off some of my tears.