If The Destiny Could Be Chosen

Chapter 10

The night is very quiet. But the traffic isn't. Everytime I sleep on my futon or my bed, there is always the sound of traffic crowds outside. I can't sleep today, all I do is just rest with my eyes open and focused on the roof of my room. My heart made me want to cry and my mind was full of unusual thoughts. Fujii had brain cancer and she didn't tell her parents about that, instead she came here to find her happiness with me. I don't know what she was thinking about, but having brain cancer like that is not trivial.
I can't sleep. I keep rolling left and right, all my patience has run out of my mind. I take a deep breath and release it aggressively, I get up from my sleeping position and unintentionally wake Fujii.
"God dammit, you're so noisy!" She scolded me.
I ignore her and get up from my futon. I shut the door of my bedroom and lit up the lamp in my labor room. The lamp dims the whole room with a faint yellow light. I lock the door and open all my cabinets on my table. Those are my savings this year. I take and count each piece of money I stored in different cabinets. Whatever the currency is, I have only one goal.
I searched in my browsing app for the price of brain cancer surgery. It costs sixteen million yen.
I count all my savings I've brought onto my table, whenever I miss one money, I have to repeat the calculation. Which is really stressful for me. The moon is rising from the east, and time goes by very quickly. The clock that shows midnight keeps going until it reaches the witching hour. That time I've finished calculating the total amount of savings I had. I was really disappointed, depressed, and helpless.
Although all the paper money and coins with random currencies have been put into the same table, all I have is only a quarter of the cost for the surgery. Fujii is not anyone to me, but she belongs to her family. If anything happens to her, I'll be the only one to be blamed.
I'm desperate, my body that is leaning on my hand-I drop it. I pushed all the coins that I piled one by one on this table and they all fell sprinkling on the floor. My gaze at the thousand yen note faded. Even though my head hit the table, the pain was still less than the pain I felt when I was desperate.

The clock now shows four in the morning, I raised my head and glanced at the minute needle of the clock. Once the needle stops at the number twelve, everything feels like it was reset.
I quickly ran to the fridge in my kitchen to take a can of coffee. I covered my shirt with a night jacket with long jeans. Fujii rolled on her bed and saw me pile up a lot of clothes on my body. She then got up and sat on her bed, glancing at me who was quickly leaving my own room. I opened the door to my condo, then I closed it again without locking it. I run down the stairs in a hurry while holding my key which then is put into my pocket.

somehow the time was running faster than usual. I just got out of my condominium for less than a minute but the clock on my cell phone shows the minute hand is already on the number four. I kept running even though I began to forget what was the reason I ran this far. I passed the parking lot which was filled with many motorbikes which were prone to people at night. The car on the bridge is traveling at high speed and then the wind blows the dust which then gets into my mouth. Then when I entered the main area of ​​Tokyo where there were so many buildings with screens attached to the glass, the minute the screen showed had reached thirty-eight. I began to panic and feel depressed, mixed with feelings that I was not used to. There were so many people in this place, but as soon as I entered their territory, the sound of their babbling went mute in my ears. Until the time when I arrived at the spot full of cars, once the car in high speed crossed over the road, the wind slammed into my face and that time, I gained my consciousness. When I looked back, I saw a stall with a pink light and had a cafe writing on it. There is an intersection on my right and there is a zebra crossing in front of me. cars passing through this road use a large number of LED lights. Then I started to wake up and all the voices beside me started to come back into my ears. On this zebra crossing, I started crossing roads that were not equipped with traffic lights. My insane mind immediately thinks that I would be better off dying than paying the whole money. indeed, because this is the only way to save Fujii. Which is considered true since there's no way to get money. If I die, Fujii will not need donors anymore, no need money for her surgery anymore, she will use my assurance as her additional cost. I raise my right leg and start walking to the road in front of me with no fear anymore. The line between me and the cars has become closer,