The labyrinth of monsters (a Hermitcraft and third life AU fanfic)

Chapter 21 - Tango

Angst is too fun to write.

Impulse is dead.

Impulse.

 My friend. 

My closest friend.

Dead. 

Everyone I love is dead.

Skizz.

Zedaph.

Bdubs.

Impulse. 

All dead. 

I'm crouching in front of his body. Silent. Crying. He's smiling. Grinning madly.  Insane. I could've helped him.

I should've helped him. 

I did nothing.

I let him do this to himself. 

I let him die. 

It's all my fault. 

It's all my fault. 

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

'Tango?' Somewhere in the back of my numbed mind I recognise Grian's voice. I make a little noise back, that might've been a yes. The only person left I could potentially call a friend sits next to me, giving a small hug. 

'It's not your fault, Tango. Not your fault that he... he...'

I don't reply. Grian's wrong. He doesn't know how many times I undermined Skizz's death, ignored Impulse's pain, how broken he was by it all. I should've seen this all coming. I should've known that snap eventually, turn into this. I can't even apologise. A moment ago I was ready to kill him. 

I was going to kill him. 

'Tango, please...' 

I was about to murder him in cold blood, just for killing Scar. I didn't even know Scar. Scar, Bdubs, Etho... three deaths for one. One I could've helped Impulse get through. Could've talked to him, not getting angry, jealous even, when Skizz was mentioned again and again. I never visited the grave. I barely attempted to get Impulse to have some time off to mourn, think about it, and come back to normality when he was ready to. 

'Tango, answer me! Please!' 

It's Doc's fault too. Doc made him go out day after day. Day after day of fear, and danger, and life-or-death situations. At one point he was willing to break his own leg so he could get some time away from it all. I just told him to get over it. I did nothing. I let him become a monster. A murderer. Worse than the people in the maze.'

'TANGO! Please, you're scaring me. Stop this! Talk to me! Say something! Anything! Say that you hate me if you want!'

 Etho's death... Etho's murder... writing on the wall in blood... I KILLED ETHO. Why? Why did I just watch as he became more and more despising of Etho. Until he was proud to have killed him. And Scar. It was all planned out perfectly. By the end, Scar was ready to die. One of the most terrifying enemies in the maze, reduced to acceptance of his fate. He wasn't even that bad. If we'd actually known each other, we might've been friends. But instead, Impulse killed him after I screamed at him to go. Never come back. 

'TANGO!' 

Someone's pulling me away from the body. I blink back to reality. Grian's there, staring at me with a look of sheer terror. Doc's pulled me to my feet. I stagger, looking around wildly as I find my balance. Impulse's body still lies in front of me. Ally. Friend. Broken. Murderer. Monster. 

'TANGO, SNAP OUT OF THIS!' Doc's glaring at me. 

I don't argue. I don't say anything except a dumb 'w... what?'

'Tango, stop this and pay attention.'

'Impulse is dead!' The words make me sob again. I back away from Doc. Grian's still frowning concernedly at me. I try to get away from him too. Away from everyone. I glance towards the maze. Freedom! Danger? But freedom. Away from everyone. A safe place to grieve, and think, and not worry. 

I run. Doc barks my name again, but I'm not listening, or looking. I trip over Martyn's corpse, falling onto my hands and knees. Ren growls warningly behind. I ignore it. Doc and Grian are at my side in an instant. The former drags me back to my feet. 

'The door's still broken and needs fixing - Tango, you do that. Someone needs to drive out or kill the wolf. I'd prefer the former. We've got enough bodies to deal with as it is.' 

'What?!' Bursts out Grian in outrage. 'You're just returning to normal?! You're forcing Tango to just work when Impulse has just died. His best friend just F*****G COMMITTED SUICIDE, and you're just IGNORING IT?!'

'He can bury the body first if he wants. But this place is a mess, and someone needs to take control. Now that the monsters can get in, we'll need to rebuild the door as soon as possible. Mumbo, you help too.' Doc continues. 'And if you don't want to listen, then just get out.' 

'This isn't cool, bro! Three people just died. Four, including Etho, and you!re acting as if nothing happened!'

'Order must be maintained around here somehow! And if someone's died, tough luck.' 

'Tough- what?!' 

I let the two fight. While they're distracted, I inch closer to the maze. Freedom. Peace. Quiet. But before I get far, Cub strides into view, out of the maze, glaring. 

'Where's Impulse?'

'Dead.' Grian replies. The word repeats in my mind, over and over. 

'Good.'

Doc's drawn his sword. Grian notices and stands between the two. 

'Don't hurt him. His friend's just died. He's not doing any harm.'

'His friend? As in the other one's actually dead?' Tactlessly, Doc grins. Cub steps forwards to murder him, but Grian's still in between, his one wing raised. 

'Cub, chill out. Doc, f*** off.'

'Right. Get out. Into the maze. Both of you. Grian, Tango, out.'

'Tango's done nothing wrong!' Grian spits back. 'You're the one that should be going into the maze. I'd say you'd be joining your kind, but then I realised it was too mean to call the people in there as bad as you.' 

Doc shoves Grian. I'm watching the whole thing play out, emotionless. What should I care if one of them ended up killing the other. It's not like it would bring back any of my friends. Cub's standing next to me, and speaks again.

'If you hurt either of them, I won't hesitate.' He threatens calmly. Doc looks over at him, hiding his terror. 

'Then take them with you. And your dumb pet dog.' Ren limps over at the sound of his name, standing next to me. Grian joins. Before he too joins us, Cub walks forwards, picking up Martyn's body. 

'If I see any of you again, you're dead.' Doc warns. 'This is it. You're not coming back.'

'I don't want to come back.' Grian replies, before all of us turn and walk into our new life inside the maze.

I have barely any plans past this point.