Stiles Stilinski Imagines {ON HOLD}

In My Blood

*Sensitive Content*

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something

"Y/N, I'm not going anywhere until you open this door." You could hear Stiles's voice on the other side of the bathroom door, and you knew that you should open it up and let him in. But you couldn't bring yourself to move, couldn't bring yourself to tear your body away from the cold tiles of the floor upon which you were lying.

You'd been staring at the ceiling for about half an hour now, feeling like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. You hid it when you were around your friends, hadn't told anyone just how you had been feeling. You'd been pretending that everything was fine, walking through Beacon Hills with your hand in Stiles's, smiling like you were the happiest person in the world.

But behind that smile, there was insecurity, anxiety, a sadness that loomed over you like a black cloud. You went home and you didn't remember ending up here, in your bathroom, locked away. You didn't hear Stiles enter the house, only aware of his voice as he called your name.

Looking for you, caring about you, worrying about you.

"Y/N, please. Just let me help."

Then everything became too overwhelming, and the tears began to fall.

I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you'll feel better

You could feel the salt trailing down your cheeks, silent tears at first as you continued to stare at the ceiling. You heard a slump from the other side of the door, Stiles clearly having chosen to sit and wait for you, and the thought just made you feel worse. He was wasting time for you, could have been doing something better.

Silent tears turned into wracking sobs, and you could hear Stiles outside. "Y/N, let me in."

You needed to walk over to the sink, needed to splash your face with water. You needed a drink, something to make you feel better. Through your tears, you managed to murmur a small request, hoping Stiles could hear. "Could you get me some water, please?"

"Whatever you want, honey." There was sympathy in his voice, and you listened as he made his way downstairs. You needed to pull yourself off this floor, needed to use your feet and walk over to the door, needed to unlock it and let Stiles – let the boy who loved you – help.

It ached to do so, every movement of your joints a chore. So you focused on the sound of Stiles's footsteps as he ran back up the stairs. You put your hand on the lock, and slid the bolt across.

You hid behind the door as you opened it.

Just take her home and you'll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?

You were still crying, could still feel tears falling down your cheeks. You sniffed as Stiles looked at you, sorrow in his eyes. You said nothing, only took the glass of water from his hand, your fingers brushing his, and downed it.

It didn't make anything feel better.

You put the empty glass on the floor, and slumped against the wall of the bathroom, head in your knees. You heard Stiles enter the bathroom, felt his body next to yours as he matched your position next to you. "You want to talk about it?"

You were sure you meant to say that you didn't, but one look at Stiles, at the way he cared about you, and the words were tumbling from your lips. As you spoke, Stiles remained silent, but you could see the tears in his eyes, the thought of you being in pain almost destroying him.

He loved you, after all. You knew that he wanted to make it better, make all the bad things go away. You knew that he wanted to hold you tight and make you happier than you had ever been before. You knew he wanted to tell you that it would all be okay.

But, at this moment in time, you thought he would have been lying.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough

"I'm just so tired, Stiles. I'm so tired of everything, and I can't do it. I feel like everything is just too much for me to handle, and it's suffocating me. And I'm trying really hard not to give up, because I should be happy. I have the best friends, and I have you, but it just feels like something bad is constantly going to happen to us, like you're going to leave me, and it hurts. It really hurts and I," the tears started to fall again, "I don't know what to do."

"Hey, come here." Stiles wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. You leaned into him, head against his chest as you cried. Admitting to yourself that you were unhappy, admitting to Stiles that you were hurting, felt like a step in the right direction, but it would take some time for you to realise that.

Right now, you were struggling to cope, and you needed to get it out of your system. Stiles let you cry into his shirt, his arms wrapped around you as he kissed the top of your head. "I've got you, Y/N, I've got you."

You looked up at him, relieved that you had him in your life.

Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't

"I'm sorry, you don't need to hear this."

"Y/N, stop." Stiles looked down at you, a hand on your cheek. "Don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? Nothing. You're hurting and you're upset, and you're going through some stuff that isn't going to be easy. Trust me, I know. But I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. Every time you need to talk or shout or scream or cry, I'm going to be right here. By your side. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

You smiled then, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. Stiles shrugged as you looked up at him, always humble, always shy. For the first time today, you felt like you weren't going to give up, felt like you weren't alone. And it was all because of the man in front of you, the man who hadn't abandoned you.

Who you knew never would.

"I love you too." You leaned up and kissed his cheek. Then Stiles placed a chaste kiss on your lips, before looking back at you.

"You want to stay here for a while?"

You nodded, snuggling back into him. It wasn't long before you fell asleep, tears always bringing on tiredness.

It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood

When you woke up, you were back in your bed, Stiles sat on the floor, his back to you. You leaned up, making your way over to him, and kissed your cheek from behind. He turned, smiling. "Good morning."

"Morning? What time is it? Did you stay the night? How did I get here?"

"Okay, quickfire questions. Yes, morning. It's 10am. Yes, I did. I carried you here from the bathroom. You needed a decent night's sleep."

You looked at Stiles as you remembered the events of the previous day, remembered confiding in him before falling asleep with your head on his chest. "You didn't need to stay."

"I didn't, but I wanted to." Stiles stood, walking around to the side of the bed and joining you on it. He dipped his head and kissed you. "It's in my nature to look after you, just like it's in yours not to give up. You're one of the strongest people I know, Y/N, and I'm so lucky to have you."

And as Stiles Stilinski looked at you with love in his eyes, you started to believe him.