I know, the spacing is all fucked up. But thats because I legit copied and pasted from Quotev.
Feel the love. I had to put in effort to get this poop.
Start:
"We should probably change them." I muse aloud, scrubbing Naruto's little head, listening to him purr loudly. Deidara fell back asleep, head resting on my lap, blonde hair covering his face completely. He snores softly, much to the amusement of Hidan, who has on numerous occasions told him to shut the fuck up.
Itachi glances down at me, a brow lifted.
I look at Sasuke in his hands and scowl. "True, true, weasel, darling. He'd go all avenger on you and I can't have that happening." Naruto meows on my chest, little blue eyes trained on Itachi, confusion flickering through his features. I frown at him. "I know you've met Itachi, right? Didn't you face off with Kakashi when they were younger? Or am I confusing myself again..."
"You seem to do that a fucking lot." Hidan snorts.
I throw my shoe at him and continue to think.
My shoe bounces off his head and plops into Sarah's lap. She lets out a shrill shriek, startled by the sudden shoe in her lap, and I glance over. I cackle evilly and accidentally wake Deidara. He shifts in my lap and glance up through silky strands of his hair. "I hear you laugh like that and for a few moments, I wonder who you killed, un." He smirks wickedly and rolls over onto his back, still keeping his head in my lap. "What'd I miss, yeah?"
"I threw a shoe at Hidan." I chirp happily, lightly brushing my fingers against his forehead. "Good morning, sexy. Sleep well?"
He chuckles. "Just fine." He hums.
Naruto gags. Deidara quirks a brow and sits up, looming over the little blonde kitty in an almost threatening manner. I giggle and lightly shove him to the side. Dramatically, Deidara falls into the couch and clutches his chest, as if he's in pain. I laugh and throw my leg across his chest, pinning him to the couch. He laughs and grabs my foot, wrenching me towards him. I let out a puff of air, sliding down against Itachi.
"I'm melting!" I throw my arms up in the air and almost smack my weasel in his face.
Hidan cackles at Itachi's misfortune and Deidara laughs.
"What were we talking about again?" I tilt my head back until I can see Itachi's wonderful face. My eyes flicker towards Sasuke, who's chest is puffed up and fur is bristled, and giggle.
"Oh yeah. We can't change Sasuke back because he'll try to eat you." My face scrunches up. "Though he'd have to beat Zetsu to it."
Deidara snorts and buries his face into the couch cushion to stifle his laughter. Hidan scowls. "Are you kidding me? Just fucking give him to me! I'll sacrifice the fucker!"
"No! We can't sacrifice Sasuke!" I gasp loudly. "I haven't gotten to rape him yet!"
The poor black kitten looks visibly disturbed. I smirk evilly and tug him away from Itachi. I set the black kitten on my chest beside Naruto, who rubs his head against his old friend. Sasuke scowls and puts a paw on Naruto's head, pushing him away. I giggle and poke Sasuke in the forehead. He blinks and turns his glaring red eyes my way.
"You lack hatred." I tell him seriously.Itachi chuckles and flicks my head.
Deidara glances back, a dark scowl gracing his features. "You can't rape an Uchiha, yeah!"I quirk a brow. "And why not?"
He huffs at me, still scowling.
"Fine. I won't rape Sasuke." I pout at him. "But I can still rape you, right?"
Deidara's scowl twists into a devious smirk. "It wouldn't be rape, un."
I like this. I smirk and nudge him slightly with my foot, which just so happens to be next to his chest. "Remind me of this conversation later. I'm definitely taking you up on your offer."
"Ewe." Tj grimaces. "I don't want to know what you two do in your room."
"I should video tape it and give it to you for Christmas." I stick my tongue out at her. Tj scrunches her nose up in distaste and looks away, not even bothering to retort to that. Hidan snorts at her and goes to say something, but Sarah hushes him, eyes zeroed in on the television screen. He shoots her a dirty look and opens his mouth to protest but Sarah reaches back, hand clamping over his mouth.
I giggle at Hidan's scowling face.
"Breakfast time." Alice calls from the kitchen.
We all shoot up, well, I sit there like the injured loser I am while Hidan, Sarah, Kakuzu, Tobi, Tj, Danny, and everyone else leaps to their feet. Deidara and Itachi wait for everyone to leave before climbing off the couch. I let Naruto and Sasuke up off my chest and then Itachi sweeps me off the couch. Deidara glances at the kittens and then waves them forward. "If you want food you better follow us, yeah." He smirks.
"Funnel cakes." I drool happily as we stride into the dining room.
Itachi sets me down in my seat at the head of the table and then elegantly slides into his own seat. Deidara claims the one next to me and eyes his funnel cake hungrily.
"I remember this, yeah. It was good." He grins.
I throw my hands up into the air. "Another believer!"
Alice sighs dramatically, a small smile on her face. She lowers several bowls of ham and water onto the floor for the new kittens.
They stare at it for a few minutes and then begin to eat begrudgingly. Naruto has already finished one bowl and has moved onto the next, so they realized that if they wanted any breakfast, they might as well go ahead and dig in, poisoned or not. I devour my funnel cake within seconds, eyes instantly finding Deidara's.
Ever so slowly, I inch my hand closer to his plate.
He swats at my hand. "No, un."
I scowl at him.
"Meanie."He smiles playfully and takes another bite of his funnel cake. I shoot him a wounded look. My eyes flicker towards my weasel and I smile sweetly. "Itachi will let me have...some...never mind." I scowl darkly at his empty plate. There's not even a crumb left or a small piece of fluffy sugar. He must've liked it clean.Itachi looks at me innocently.
"Never trust a Uchiha." I stick my tongue out at him and glare at Sasuke, who glares at me from behind one of the bowls Karin and Suigetsu are eating at. "That goes for you too, Sas-quack."
Deidara chuckles.
"Sasori no Danna!" I call happily, "Did you get a funnel cake?"
"I don't eat, brat." He calls back from my room. I can almost envision him looming over his workbench.
"No wonder you're a soulless ginger." I huff, now bored. My eyes find Pein. "No offense, Pein-nii-sama. You're not really a ginger like Sasori is, you're hair color is cool."
Pein quirks a brow and says nothing, making it obvious that he wasn't listening to my conversation with Sasori. I giggle at him and Konan smiles lightly, suppressing a laugh. I move my gaze to Deidara, scowling when I find he has finished with his funnel cake, and I order for him to help me up. Rolling his eyes, he stands and helps me to my feet.
I blink. "Oh my Jashin!"
"What, yeah?" His brows furrow.
"We have Sakura." I glance over to said pink kitten, who looks up at us confused. "Maybe she knows what's wrong with my knee. She's a more trained medial nin, no offense Konan, so maybe she could tell." I smile hopefully and then scowl. "But then she'd try to change the rest of them, including Sasuke."
Damn...it had been such a good idea too.
"I can hold the mini-Uchiha back." Hidan scoffs slightly and Kisame seconds the notion.
I shake my head."It isn't just Sasuke you have to worry about..."
