My Poems

Silently suffering

I can't take it anymore!
This isn't the life I chose!
I don't want these cards I was dealt..
I wonder, if I tie a knot in a rope an hang it from a ceiling, would all my problems end?
I can't keep pasting this stupid smile on my face and saying I'm okay.
Not when my note is still folded in the little dresser by my bed.
Or better yet what if I just put a bullet through the bone into my head?
I don't deserve to be on this earth anymore.
The people I talk to,
They are better off with me gone.
I'll miss some of them,
But they need not worry if I'm dead I can watch over them.
Slowly I let out a breath and watch the smoke twirl and I feel the burn in the back of my throat from the whiskey.
Death is calling my name.
What would happen if I say, "fuck it." And give in?
Would it hurt?
There's only one way to find out.
I put the bullet in the chamber,
But then she walks into my brain...her smile..her laugh..her eyes.
I pull the bullet out and put the gun away.
I can't die right now.
Not yet.
Not with her in my mind, she'll blame herself.
No. I won't let her put herself through hell even if that means I have to stay in hell.
As long as their happy I can suffer silently.
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Hey guys! So I've debated putting this one up for a while and depending how it goes maybe I'll keep it up? I haven't decided yet so as always comment and vote :)