A Cursed Love

rudra confess his feelings

Yes ... That one word startled satis existence ....

She trembled looking at her intense eyes  ... Catching her off-guard

" Who is she ..? " Sati asked gulping the lump in her throat ...

Rudra looked at her pale face , her clenched fist ...
" Don't u know .." he whispered ....n sati stilled 

She took steps back from him ...satis eyes teared ..she is scared ..
" How... wou..ld. I I kn...ow  " sati stammer ... looking at him with terror

" Don't know .. I said don't know .." rudra said  , making sati stop in her track ... did I listened wrongly .she thought.....

" My dairy just had that much only .. the girls name was not mentioned anywhere , fate .. strange thing  , I came to search my women , now I don't even remember her ..." Rudra said to see her reaction  , he wanted to see what will b her reaction now .... knowing that my past self was searching for her ....

Sati don't know when she stopped breathing .., is he really searching for me ? She thought ..but y ..

" Y were u searching for her , now after all these years .,there must b a reason right." sati asked abit confidently  as she is sure that he don't remember her ...

"   i want to ask forgiveness  for my deeds , she lost her family's support bcz of me ..,I want to give her family back to her, regain the reputation she lost bcz of my deeds  , I am regretting for hurting her  , this guilt is killing me from inside." Rudra swallow the words that he love her too , wanted to marry her .he couldn't say them ....bcz if he say it now she will think that he is willing to marry her out of guilt r pity ..he don't want that ,  he wanted sati to happily accept him first ...

Satis lips twisted .. listening about her family ..can she really go back to her family , will they ever accept her , like he is saying ..., But felt peace  knowing he regretting what he did to her , he should b , what he did was  unacceptable  , atleast he acknowledged that he did a sin  ....

" What do u think sati , if I beg for forgiveness will she , forgive me  ,what should I do to earn her forgiveness " rudra asked sati , directly ..he was her culprit , only she have the right to set his punishment ...

Sati  don't know the answer ....

" If he came n asked for forgiveness , would she forgive him ?,  may b no  , his sins r not that small to b forgive that easily ..but , punishment she can give  when he is already repenting his sins , the whole concept of punishment is to make the culprits realise n reget his deeds ...when he already repenting , bearing the weight of guilt ...what more punishment can she give  " sati thought  , satis nature  is forgiving , mercy full  , soft hearten , she is not some one to feel satisfaction watching some ones suffering  ...may b if he begged her truly on his knees , may b she might have forgiven him  , she can't keep  herself  at peace knowing someone is in pain bcz of her ...even it's his culprit ,but she is a women , she have her own self respect , he attacked  a women s pride  , every insult she faced after that night was still clear in her head  ...those hateful words people threw at her face ..., The devastation she felt at that time  , was unbearable  , she is not a strong open minded modern women , who can face such situations with bravery , she was a coward ...for her , her virtue was everything  back then ,  she wanted to die due to humiliation any girl would feel the same either modern r traditional, but now she is changed person  just like him ..she learnt to accept life , no matter what it shows good r bad , she learnt to fight , to survive   without a man's support in this cruel society , crying r drying won't help   anyone ,  women must b strong , self dependent  , fight for herself  back then she could have fight him for justice ,but she couldn't dare , neither she got her family support
 
" If she see true repentance in ur eyes , true thirst for forgiveness , she will definately forgive u  , everyone does  bad things in their life's , no one is a saint  , forgiveness should b given to those who repent truely deep from their heart. ,but u must remember this , u can't repeat ur mistake n expect for forgiveness again n again ,  don't take a women s kindness for granted , once u broke someone's trust  ,it won't be the same again , no matter how hard u repent ...  " sati said ..what she felt right  , what will she get making a person who is already in guilt , suffer more ...