you can stay|skz

|one|

Song recommendation:
Side Effects by Stray Kids

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I groan and fall down on the ground. I hit my temples with the heels of my hands. No matter what I do I can't get it right. I keep messing up. It's not like it's an extremely difficult dance. I've been learning these kinds of dances for years, but the thought of performing it for my monthly evaluation is horrifying.

I get to my feet and force myself toward the speakers. I restart the song and run through the moves for the millionth time. I watch myself in the mirror as I fly through the same moves over and over again. Then I hit the one spot I just can't seem to get right. I give up. I fall on the ground once again and let my anxiety slowly take over.

I hear bickering in the hall as the song ends and starts over. I ignore it as I frantically scratch at my arms out of frustration. Three days. I've been practicing this dance for three days nonstop. I should have it down by now, but I just can't get this one part. Everything before and everything after it is almost perfect, but this one part is proving to be my downfall.

The door opens quietly as I scratch without much thought. Someone kneels down behind me and grabs my wrists. They pull my hands away from my arms and hold them tightly. I swallow hard as I glance up to see who's behind me. The feeling of someone's arms on me makes my heart race. The feeling of their touch is going to remain long after they leave. It will linger on my skin like pins and needles. It won't go away until I rub at it frantically or stand beneath a scolding hot shower.

Part of me expects the one trainee I actually get along with to be there—but they aren't. HwiYoung isn't anywhere in sight. Instead—Han JiSung grips onto my hands tightly while Seo ChangBin stands in the door way hesitantly.

"Breathe. Take a step back and try again later." JiSung mumbles as he slowly loosens his grip on me. As soon as he's confident I won't start scratching again, he pulls back completely.

I lower my head and close my eyes tightly embarrassed beyond belief. I'm usually good at keeping myself in check—but I let my guard down because I thought I was alone. The door closes and the music stops. I look up and toward my phone to see ChangBin scrolling through my playlist.

"How long do you have until your eval?" ChangBin asks as he glances over at me. JiSung sits beside me and searches my face for an answer.

"Next week. I haven't even picked my vocal song yet." I sigh weakly—too exhausted to let the fan girl in me hit. I'm in the dance studio—alone—with two members of my favorite group. One of the groups that made me want to do music in the first place.

"What did you have in mind? Ballad?" JiSung turns toward the mirror, not wanting to make me even more anxious. He watches my reflection from the corner of his eye as he waits for my response.

"I don't know. I guess I had some in mind—but I don't know if they're any good." I admit as I force myself onto my feet. I make my way toward ChangBin and take my phone from him. I click on my vocal playlist and hand it back to him.

"What's one song that you can listen to on repeat and sing without getting sick of it?" JiSung questions as he joins us next to the speakers.

"For vocal—I guess Easier by 5 Seconds of Summer or All of My Life by Park Won." I mumble as they both nod in approval.

"Sing both of them for us." ChangBin instructs as he clicks on the first song. He slips ahead a bit and nods for me to start singing.

I hesitate, but JiSung gives me a reassuring smile and my heart melts. I take a shaky breath and dig my nails into my palms before starting to sing. They both close their eyes and listen closely as I pour my heart out.