you can stay|skz

|eighteen|

I lay in bed with my face buried in JiSung's chest. My fingers curl around his shirt tightly as I close my eyes. He sighs softly as he pulls me closer.

"It hurts—doesn't it? Is there anything I can do?" JiSung asks as he pulls the blanket further up around me. I shake my head weakly, not having the strength to speak up.

I know he wants to help. I know he wants to take my pain away, but he can't. It's just the way life is for me. There are days and nights where I don't want to move it hurts so bad—tonight is one of them. It's not just one thing that hurts—it's nearly every one of them. From my ankles to my knees—all the way up to my neck and shoulders—everything is throbbing and aching. The worst is my hips. No matter which way I lay they hurt—sometimes one more than the other—but either way there's no escaping the pain.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't apologize—it's not like I caused it—it's just—I feel bad. You don't deserve it. All you do is work hard and try to overcome your problems only to have more problems." JiSung mumbles as he rests his chin on top of my head.

"All you can do is hold me." I whisper shakily as I bury my face in his hand. I kiss his palm playfully, glad to finally have someone to hold me.

Everything is so much easier when I'm not alone. Being with him makes it easier to breathe. It makes it easier to think. It makes it easier to be a normal person. He makes me feel normal—as close to normal as I can get at least.

"I'll hold you until the day I die. I won't let you leave me and I won't leave you." JiSung smiles reassuringly as he scoots toward me until he's as close as humanly possible. I close my eyes the moment I feel his warm breathe on me.

Usually, it'd make me uncomfortable and I'd try to run away, but right now it's the best feeling in the world. It helps numb the pain of everything just a little bit. JiSung slips his hand away from me and gently takes my chin between his fingers. My eyes flutter open the moment he tilts my head back. He doesn't hesitate to lean down and press his lips to mine.

"Hmm—Sungie—" I hum against his lips contently as he does his best to try and distract me. He shifts from his position to hover above me. He does everything he can to keep most of his weight off of me.

His kisses started off innocent and soft, but without warning they turned hungrier. He notices his own sudden shift and pulls away. He falls back down on the bed next to me and groans as he covers his eyes with his arm.

"Sungie." I tug on his arm and he caves in. He rolls to face me and his eyes flicker up to mine. I'd usually shy away, but right now I don't want to. I want to keep staring into his eyes. I love the way the world around us just melts and all that's left is the two of us. It's more comforting than I ever imagined.

"You know you're beautiful, right? Like—so breathtakingly beautiful I thought I was going to pass out the first time I saw you." JiSung begins to compliment me and I can feel my cheeks warm up. No one compliments me—at least not like he is. Me? Beautiful?

"Everything about you made me want to get to know you so bad, but I knew you didn't like being around a lot of people. I knew you had a hard time with new people. I figured it'd just be best to keep my distance so I didn't overwhelm you, but when I saw you having a hard time in the dance studio I couldn't take it. I had to step in." JiSung explains softly as he he leans in to place a few more kittenish pecks on my lips. He stops himself before he can lose control again.

"It would've been hard for me at first—but you guys are the people I look up to the most. I would've got over it like I did when you actually approached me. Honestly—I'm glad you were there. I was really struggling and probably wouldn't have noticed I was scratching." I admit as I swallow hard. I don't look away no matter what my brain tells me to do. I want to keep staring into his eyes until I physically can't anymore. I don't want to miss something.