you can stay|skz

|five|

Song recommendation:
Numb by Amber Liu

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"How long has she been sleeping?" MinHo mumbles as he slips into the room.

"About two hours I think. I got distracted and lost track of time, so it's a rough estimate." Chan spins around in his chair.

"What'd her friend say?" JiSung asks as he looks up from his phone.

I close my eyes tightly, not wanting to be noticed. I don't remember what happened. When my anxiety gets the best of me, I sometimes block out the memories. I hate remembering what stupid things I do. It makes me even more anxious.

"He wanted to see her, but I told him she went home. I figured she wouldn't want to see him. She seemed pretty upset with him." ChangBin stares calmly from the ground next to me.

"That's it? He didn't explain how to help her or anything? Some friend he is." MinHo grumbles as he falls down next to ChangBin.

"He did—I just—it's not really my place to bring it all up. He must've been really stressed dealing with it all. I wouldn't be shocked if he's the only one she talks to. He was really flustered." ChangBin sighs.

"I guess that explains why he was protective over her. I thought he was going to pounce on me when I was trying to help her with her dance earlier." MinHo groans as he gets to his feet and makes his way toward me. He leans over me for a moment before pulling back.

The moment I feel him back up, I steal a glance to see what he was doing. He plugged his charger in. He wasn't trying to mess with me. He didn't have any ill intentions—yet my heart is still racing uncontrollably. My mind made me think he was going to hurt me. The moment I get too close to someone—they hurt me. I'm getting too close to them. I can feel the thin string between strangers and friends growing weaker and weaker. The moment I step over I crack.

"She'll be okay though. He said she just needs to sleep it off. It may be a while before she wakes up though. If it was a bad enough anxiety attack he said she may even be physically sick when she wakes up." ChangBin sighs as I feel his eyes fall on me.

"Wait—isn't her eval checkin today? What time is it at?" Chan suddenly grows worried as he gets to his feet.

"I have no idea what time—should we wake her up?" JiSung questions as he gets to his feet.

"What time is it?" I sigh as I give in and roll over to face them. I can't miss checkin.

"You—four—it's four twenty-seven." Chan hesitantly responds as I sit upright. I groan and get to my feet.

"Do you want me to go with you to run through it a few times?" MinHo willingly follows after me as I make my way toward the door.

"I've only got half an hour. We probably won't get through much of it. It doesn't matter anyway. I'll probably get scolded either way." I shrug as I tug the door open.

"Wait—your stuff." ChangBin grabs my bag and water bottle. MinHo takes them from him and slips into the hall with me.

"Do you want me to come with you for the checkin? I can slip in to watch. Everyone pretty much already knows we're friends, so it's not like they'll freak out. We can always say you know one of us from school or something. They won't object for sure that way." MinHo mumbles as he falls in step beside me. I tense at the word—friends—I really wish he wouldn't have brought it up. It makes things so much more complicated.

"Hey—we were coming to watch—how are you feeling?" Felix questions as he and HyunJin hurry to catch up with us.

"Fine." I lie as I swallow hard. I stare down at my feet. My head is throbbing. My arms and legs feel weak. I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I'll survive.