they come, they go

the shadow dream

i walk through the empty dark streets of Stefko Boulevard, walking with your shadow next to me. you quietly follow along but every time i turn to see you, you turn into blurry dark matter. i can see through you and see the streetlights behind your sheer figure. we keep walking together and it feels exciting. like when we skipped school together to go to the cemetery by the bethlehem library. it feels like safety because this comfort is so familiar. it feels like home. i feel happy. i smile so hard, feeling like my teeth would fall off. i can't see you that clearly, but i don't mind. it is cold, dark and scary, but i could still see your shadow. i don't know who you are but it doesn't matter because i am the happiest and full of life i have ever felt.
a portal of light opens in front of us.
i walk into the light, entering a different reality where it is daytime. it feels like a summer morning at 5 am. where birds are chirping and the flowers bloom in colorful colors. the sun is so bright and beautiful as it shines on me. the smell of morning fresh flowers and grass hits me.
i try to pull you out with me. you let go of me and you're no longer a blurry ghost. i can see your face. i see tears in your eyes as they get more red. i feel tears fall from my eyes without my control. i could not understand what was happening in the moment.
"what's wrong? what's happening?"
i could hear my ears ring as my vision gets blurry. i see your face for the first and final time, yelling at me. i can't hear what you are saying. there are knots in my throat. you become a dark empty void. i wanted to yell for you but when i did, it was just loud whispers. "stay with me, please. it's so beautiful out here, i will still love you but you are scaring me"

i see your hands slip from mine. i closed my eyes once really hard and you weren't there anymore.