vermilion | chifuyu matsuno

three

later that week, chifuyu is at the theater again, working his ass off on a friday night instead of going to a party with one of his friends.

there are times wherein he couldn't help but despise the current situation that he was in. he was just human, and there were moments that he wished that he was at a party or he was at one of friend's dorm room – watching a movie or just plain hanging out, but he couldn't because he already chose his path, he wanted to finish college, and run his own pet shop, and in order to do that, he needed to work.

it was again, a quarter to eleven and he's on his way to clean up the garbage that movie goers left.

he was mumbling some lyrics to a song he was currently obsessed with when he heard someone crying again.

"can't a guy just do his job without getting creeped out?" he muttered before he went to see the culprit, and boy, getting shock was an understatement.

chifuyu couldn't believe his eyes as he see saw the same girl with vermilion-colored hair he met a few weeks ago. it was aki. and she was in the third row again, crying.

"are you a masochist or something?" chifuyu blurted out, making aki look up.

"i...i don't know, really..." was all she managed to answer, and chifuyu just sighed before starting his job.

why was she here? is she going through something? a family problem? heartbreak? or she just loved the movie that much? chifuyu's mind was filled with questions after questions when aki spoke.

"i'm the president of the animation and film organisation of a university nearby, but these past few months, i've been feeling really unmotivated. before, i actually created pieces after pieces, but now...i couldn't even finish a single project."

chifuyu was shocked that she was sharing something really personal to him. he was right about her going through something but her dilemma wasn't family related or connected to her lovelife. it was actually about the thing that she loved doing, and before chifuyu knew it, he was now sitting one seat away from the girl.

"yeah? and why is that?" he softly asked her.

"i don't know, i don't understand...i'm starting to hate my art, every single piece that i do will either look hideous, or shitty in my eyes. it's frustrating because doing art is what i lived for. it was my raison d'etre. and now, i'm losing my grip, and it scares me because what if one day, i forget the reason why i loved it?" chifuyu watched as she took a shaky breath before she continued speaking, "that's why i decided to watch this movie again, that's why i'm rewatching every ghibli movie, every animated film that made me fall in love with art and animation. because i want to be reminded, i want to be inspired again. i just want to find my way back into art."

the two of them stayed silent for a few minutes, trying to digest everything, before chifuyu finally decided to speak.

"can i say something?" he turned to aki, and the girl nodded as an answer.

"you know...one time, i actually read a post about why artists hate their works. the post said that maybe that's why you guys started to hate your creations is because you've stared at it for too long, because you've worked on it for hours and hours, and you couldn't help but notice every flaw it has. but you know, there will always be people who will look at your art for the first time, and it will be the most wonderful thing that they ever saw, and it may even inspire them like what those animated films has done to you."

"thank you," chifuyu looked at aki who was looking at him with a small smile plastered on her lips.

"i gotchu," chifuyu clicked his tongue and shoot her with finger guns, making her chuckle softly.

"my friends were shocked that i've been coming out from our club room more often, i told them that i just wanted to mingle more, but the truth was...it's just that i didn't wanna cry infront of my desk because of how unproductive i was getting."

"taking breaks aren't bad, you know? progress isn't always about having to finish something, it's also about taking breaks, and letting yourself breathe. don't be ashamed about it because art will always be there. and if it was given the ability to speak, it will also tell you to take a break and that it will wait for your return. let's admit it, art is stressful, but it's not supposed to give you anxiety, it's supposed to be a shelter in the middle of a storm, it's a sweater keeping you warm during rainy days, it's a mother rocking her baby to sleep."

"wow, thank you so much...i–what you said was beautiful. it was comforting," aki said, and she followed it with a, "are you a literature major or something?"

chifuyu chuckled at her question, "nope. i'm a business major."

"really? why business?"

"i wanna run my own pet shop," chifuyu started, "i've always been passionate with animals. i love them. and so i came up with the plan of taking business so that my work will still be connected to what i am passionate about."

"that's actually such a smart idea, and it's so cute! when you finally get to build one, i'll be sure to visit!" aki said, and chifuyu smiled at her thinking how cute she was.

"by the way, you told me you read mangas right? can you suggest me something to read? i just finished reading a manga about children being fed to demons. it's such a nice manga though, it's my current favorite even though the ending almost caused me a heart attack," aki stood up from her seat, dusting off her skirt.

"oh, i actually also finished reading one, it's about a boy working for the yakuza since he needed to pay the debt that his father left but then he turned into a devil," chifuyu said before also standing up, ready to continue his work if he wanted to go home before midnight.

"that's cool! i'll check that out!" aki said, and chifuyu nodded.

"you need help?" she asked him again but chifuyu just shook his head.

"nah, i got this. you better go home now, it's almost twelve."

"yeah, i should really go. reika would freak out. but hey," chifuyu turned to aki who was standing infront of him.

"yeah?"

"thank you for listening to me and for giving me words of advice. my heart is really happy, and i am so grateful," she bowed and gave him an actual smile. not the small smiles that she usually gave him, but an actual smile instead.

chifuyu couldn't help but return the smile that she gave because aside from the fact that she was being sincere, chifuyu seeing her smile was absolutely breath-taking. chifuyu already found her pretty when she isn't smiling, and now that she gave him an actual smile, she became much prettier in his eyes.

"you're welcome. i'm glad i could help."

"see you around..." she trailed off, realizing that she still doesn't know chifuyu's name.

"chifuyu matsuno."

"aki kobayashi."

"see you, matsuno-san."

"yeah...see you, kobayashi-san."