deathnote smut

Oh God, the wife!

Misa opens the door to her apartment. She had dropped of the Monster Fucker Dildo(12 inch) to her mother. Misa and her wife live in the smallest apartment in New York, the rent is 3$ a month, but there's a catch. They have to shower outside cause there's no water inside. Even though Misa is a billionare, she still wants to live as a poor ass bitch cause it reminds of her friend, Mello, who died of testicular cancer. He was a poor poor man. Misa walks into the livingroom. Her wife, Sachiko Amane is passed out on the fart-smelling, sweaty ass, rat infested couch. Misa hits her on the head with a bag of dried tomatoes.

''Wake the fuck up babygirl'' Misa sings. Sachiko opens one eye. Well, she can only open one eye considering her other eye got stolen by some dude in the neightbourhood while she was asleep. Sachiko smiles at the sight of her beautiful, 4'7, blonde, athletic girlfriend and burps. The burp smells of old fart mixed with Mt. Dew. 

''Hejjj My Beloved, sorry i fell asleep watching my 600lbs life, reminded me too much of my dead sister, Kata.'' Sachiko replied out of her stanky ass mouth as a long fart slipped out on the other side. Misa kissed her on the forehead before leaving. But before she could leave, Sachiko asked her a dooming question.

''Wanna take a shower together, if you know what i mean, wink wink''

Misa couldn't say no. She couldn't stand the smell of her wife anymore. Surely she'd be fine if she just kept her clothes on right? Yeah, probably.

''Yeah babe, let me just get ready.''

''Oh heeell nah, we're going right this second. I'm honry as fuuuck'' sachiko replied with a fuckboy face plastered on. she grabbed Misa's arm and forced her to follow her outside to the community pool that got cleaned every 3 months. Sachiko took off her clothes, and she was now moving over to undress Misa. Misa tried her best to hide the baby bump, but by the look on her wife's face it didn't work. 

''Misa....w-what is t-this all a-a-a-a-about? Why a-are you....fat?'' Sachiko cried out. She looked disgusted and her hands were trembling. Sachiko hated fat people, even though she was obese like her dead sister. 

''Ex-fucking-csuse me i'm not FAT i'm pregnant. Did you fail like 5th grade science? I'm leaving, i can't handle you anymore oh my god.'' misa replied. was her wife stupid or something? god, this was more embarrasing than sad. misa walked away a little too fast, because she now realized that she needed help. she was about to give birth. like within a few minutes she's gonna start giving birth to an actual baby. she hated babies. 

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On another side of the story, Riyuk and Safari were hangingo out in the mall since Ryuk liked looking at the Hot Women in the stores. Safari on the other hand, just wanted to suck a tiddy. He was hungry as fuck. 

''Goo goo gaagaa. gigi gogo'' he said as he started to run away. Ryuk didn't even notice cause he just laid eyes on the Hottest Woman he'd ever seen. Mans was drooling n shit. *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* 

''Ahem, you look very lovely'' he says to the Hot Woman. Ryiouk forgot that he is a literal shinigami. The Very Hot Woman couldn't see him. He was very sad, tears started forming at his bright orbs. That's when he noticed that Safari was gone. He looked everywhere for him. Then, in the distance, he could see him crawling down the stairs that led to the parking lot. Oh NO!

Ryuk ran as fast as he could to catch Safari before he got ran over. He saw a car going way over the speed limit, racing towards Safari. Safari was a stupid ass baby, so he kept going towards the car like a dumb little Baby Shit. Riuik ran and ran and he was only a few meters away when the car passed by him. Oh shit oh shit where was Safari. He saw a flat baby laying in front of him. Tears made their way onto his face again. How could he do this? Safari was only a little baby. The room went quiet. He could only hear his own sobs as he held the lifeless body against his chest. Blood was spilling all over him. God, Safari was an ugly baby, but damn did his farts smell good. That was the only reason Ruyik had agreed to take care of him. Farts were like apples. but non-edible. It was like heaven on earth. 

''Googoo gagg? bitch thats not me googoo gagaga momom'' a voice said behind him. Ryuk froze. He slowly turned his face around. No way.. he was holding the wrong baby. Safari went over to Ryuk and gave him a pat on the back. ''You're so fucking dumb, gogo gaga'' Safari said to himself. He couldn't stand Ryuk. He knew he had to make his escape. 

**READ TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT****

(spoilers **** and Light fuck)