Fight Back

Chapter 16: Life Isn't A Fairytale

      I had another nightmare. 

      I can't seem to escape them. when I went back to sleep in Tyler's room they just came back, but Tyler would calm me back down. 

       I can't let my guard down anymore. I have to stay alert or I feel like they will come back. They always come back. 

      The darkness is there ally. They come when there is no more light; where it seems that there is no more hope for tomorrow. The hope dies when darkness takes over. 

        I ask Tyler to turn the lamp on when I woke up the second time while I was in his room. I am happy he didn't ask questions I'm not sure if I could answer them. He left for pack business so I stayed in his room. 

         I was already showed and dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a light pink shirt when Lilly came in to visit me; or should I say nag me with questions about my date with Luke.

       "Oh my god, bowling? I guess Luke doesn't have as much game as everyone thinks." She laugh when I tell her I was surprised that Luke took me bowling. 

        "I thought it was nice that we did something simple for our first date. I don't really think I could handle anything extravagant." I say the last part in a hush voice. Lilly gives me her sad eyes and I can tell she is trying to keep her pitying to a minimum.

         "Do you know when you are going to go out with him again?" She changes the subject and I grateful for it. 

         "I don't know. I haven't heard from him all day." I say thinking about when will our next date be?

         "How could you? When you haven't left Tyler's room. I'm starting to think there is something going on between you too." Lilly wiggles her eyebrows, and I laugh at her. 

          Tyler and I? No. I see him like....like....like my brother. The thoughts saddens me when I start to think about my real brother. I wonder what he would think about my arrange marriage between Luke and I.

         I wonder what my mother would think. When I don't say anything for a while and my laughter is gone Lilly attempts to hold my hand, but I snatch it away from her. 

            I didn't mean to, "Lilly, I'm sorry. I just...." I draft off again not able to find the words to explain to her how much a single touch affect me. 

          She waves her hand off dismissing the matter, "It's okay Maria, I understand. You need some time." 

             I nod my head yes, and with a big huff of air Lilly stands up from the edge of the bed and starts to walk to the door. "Alex and I are going to visit the new pups that had there first shift. Do you want to come?"

            I shake my head no. Last night was too much interaction with people; so soon after what happen. I am so exhausted after trying to be so social. 

           I need some time alone. Lilly doesn't agree with me, "Okay, We'll be back around dinner time." She walks out the door and I hear her and Alex walk out the front door to the car and drive off. 

           Now that I finally have the house to myself I open up a book and begin to read "1984" by George Orwell.

*************

         It's almost 5'o'clock and I need to keep myself occupied. I put down the third book I finished reading to go downstairs to start cooking dinner. I still love cooking and its a great thing to do to pass time. 

            When I'm downstairs on the hallway that leads to the kitchen, I am suddenly pulled away. 

            'Please, No not again.' Alice pleads with the sudden fear of danger.