Bastich In Atmos (Storm Hawks X DC Comics)

Chapter Four - An Unlikely Alliance

After their fight, Lobo and the Storm Hawks made their way to Terra Neverlandis. As the Condor landed near the old fort, Lobo parks his Spacehog right next to the Condor. The Storm Hawks were unsettled as the person who just tried to kill them pulls out a cigar and begins smoking. 

Lobo: You got grub on this fucking dump? Killing a bunch of assholes makes the Main Man hungry and it was a long ass trip to this sorry rock!

Piper: It's an abandoned fort....

Lobo: All right! Grub later! Let's talk business!

Lobo walks over to his Spacehog and pulls out a six pack of beer. He opens one of the cans and chugs it down. Once he finishes it, he lets out a loud burp, crushes the can and chucks it over the edge of Terra Neverlandis. Piper immediately becomes disgusted with Lobo's behavior as she glances over to Finn who immediately becomes defensive. 

Finn: I am not like that!

Aerrow: So uh....Lobo. Who is this Larfleeze?

Lobo: He's what people in the Galaxy call an Orange Lantern.

Piper: An Orange Lantern?

Lobo: A Bastich armed with an Power Ring powered by greed. Now in case that point flew past you, that means there's only one Orange Lantern in the entire fraggin Galaxy and that is Larfleeze, you dig?

Lobo grabs another can of beer and chugging it. He then throws it at the wall which bounces off the wall and hits Stork in the head. 

Lobo: Though I'm wondering what that little bastard is doing in this shit hole. He's usually holed up in Okaara. Guess that's why the others came up short. 

Junko: You mean there's more like you out there in space?!

Lobo: Hey! You better back that fucking statement up, Rhino Boy! There ain't no other Bastich in the Galaxy like the Main Man! The Main Man is one of a kind!

Stork: I mean, he did mention how he...."fragged" everyone on his planet.

Aerrow: You killed your entire planet?!

Lobo: Those sorry bunch of pansies had it coming! Besides, it was fun for me! Almost makes miss those pansies!

The Storm Hawks became more and more uncomfortable with Lobo. They never knew anyone who took so much pleasure out of mass slaughter. Even the worst of the Cyclonians never displayed that kind of behavior. Not wishing to know more about Lobo's past, Aerrow brought the conversation back to the matter of Larfleeze. 

Aerrow: How exactly were you going to find Larfleeze?

Lobo: I wasn't even on this rock for five seconds when those assholes tried to fuck with me. As you saw, it didn't end well for them. Then I get a call from the head honcho talking about some broad called Cyclonis. He was hyping her up as if he was fucking her or something. 

As Lobo gave a vulgar description of what happened, the vulgarity of it shocked the Storm Hawks. 

Aerrow: Master Cyclonis is the leader of the Cyclonian Empire. The..." head honcho" you mentioned was most likely Dark Ace, her chief enforcer. 

Lobo: And right when I was about to pay Cyclonis a visit, you kids came along and kinda fucked up my plan and here we are. 

Finn: Is it wrong for us to sic this guy after Cyclonis? Seems like he could do us all a favor and off her. 

Lobo: Frankly, I don't give a fuck who she is. The Main Man don't bow to no one. If she gets in my way, she's fragged. 

Aerrow: Cyclonis is more dangerous than you think. She's a master Crystal mage and the most dangerous person on Atmos. 

As Aerrow said this, Lobo laughed loudly as he thought about all the people he's taken on over the years ranging from Superman to Darkseid. 

Lobo: That's fucking funny, kid! Good one! Clearly you weren't paying attention. I'm the Main Fucking Man! When the meanest, baddest suckers in the Galaxy need someone offed--they call me! No ifs, ands or fucking buts! 

Stork: He....he has spirit. I'll give him out. He is clearly psychotic and will most likely kills us in the most gruesome way possible, but he has guts. 

Lobo: I like how you think, elf. 

Piper: Before we...go forward with this, there's one thing we need to know. Are you going to be a problem?

Lobo: You help me find the Larfleeze, and I'm off this rock without question. And to top it all off, I might even kill a couple of these Cyclonian fucks on the house. 

Aerrow: That...won't be necessary.

Lobo then lets out a big yawn. 

Lobo: I don't know about you kiddies, but I'm fucking beat! Mass murder and all around fragging can take a lot outta ya! I'm gonna catch a few z's and see if I can find a good joint with lots of honeys! 

With that, Lobo exited the fort and slept on his Spacehog. As Lobo fell fast asleep, the Storm Hawks took a moment to realize what they were getting into.

Finn: This is crazy! We can't work with this guy! He'll kills us!

Junko: He's also real mean!

Aerrow: I don't like it either, but if we can keep him from killing Sky Knights or innocent people, then this is our best shot.

Piper: But how are we going to find Larfleeze? 

Aerrow: We'll think of something. 

With that, the Storm Hawks followed Lobo's lead and rested on the Condor. In that moment, the Storm Hawks had entered an unlikely and uneasy alliance with Lobo.