𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 | ❝It should be a sin how utterly devoted I am to you... and only you. ❞
If there was one way to describe Amias Blackwood, it would be that he was a lone wolf.
For centuries he had kept to himself, as a human and even once...
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𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙎𝙄𝙓 ミ★ ( obsidian, act one ) ★彡
While there was no physical evidence of what he had done, Amias could still see the blood on his hands. Vampires held no blood in their system the longer that they age; only venom or the blood from their victims, but never their own. When one kills a vampire, their bodies break like marble, but there is no remnants of blood or gore like a human. Newborns were a different story, when vampires are freshly turned, they still hold their own blood in their tissues, making them far more stronger than a normal vampire.
He didn't exactly stick around the site where he had massacred that coven to return back to the castle. Aro would want to know that his request had been acted out and done correctly, as per his taste. He would've wanted them to suffer as a display of power, and place fear among those who dared to disobey their laws. Amias was just his pawn to make sure that was done, and he used to be fine with that because he respected Aro for what he had done for him, but now it seemed like an inconvenience—and it was as if it the only thing Aro respected him for.
Amias wants to cry. For the first time in hundreds of years, he feels guilty. Not because he's afraid of repercussions when he finally dies—but because he is afraid of what a certain brunette girl would think of him if she were to ever find out what he did, and the fact that he enjoyed it.
He kept picturing her face, staring at him wide eyed in fear as if she was witnessing him in action. That made him feel guilty because he was tainting something so pure with a scene so gruesome and sinful. It was no place for a girl like her.
Amias didn't really believe in Heaven or Hell, but when he thinks of Bella being scared of him, he believes it would remind him of what he would picture to be like Hell. He doesn't understand why he wants to protect her from the horrors that is the real world, but he does because it reminds him of himself when he was human. Why Bella out of all people? He doesn't know.
One thing was for sure, if Heaven and Hell did exist, he wouldn't be walking through the pearly gates. He would be walking along the fieriest pits of Hell—and not comfortably. The idea of judgement day didn't make sense, because he had been around humans long enough to know that there weren't that many people who were inherently just good or bad. He knows there's a lot of grey.
A lot of good people make bad decisions or do bad things in the name of the greater good, no one could always do the right thing all the time. But the idea of your future in the afterlife being condemned because of one bad decision didn't sit right with him. He understood people who continuously bad things, but everyone else just didn't make sense.
Amias knew he was a bad person. There was no grey with him. He was a bad person through and through. He had just reached the point in his eternal life where he had just stopped caring and he had stopped trying to portray himself as a good person. It was why he felt like he didn't fit in with the Cullens despite them being so welcoming to him; they were good people with rough pasts. He was a bad person with an even worse past.
