You're always in my heart

chapter 3- A mess

I hastily get off of Connor's lap and prepare for what's going to happen next, Jake is looking back and forth at us like we did something wrong.

"This isn't what it looks like" I assure him.

His jaw clenches his eyes blazing, he looks really mad.

He balls his hands into fists and I know his actions before he even does anything, his eyes fixed on Connor this is not good.

"Jake calm down!"

I try to reason with him. He then fixes his eyes on me "you want me to calm down I just saw you on my best friend's lap making out, tell me how I'm supposed to react to that"

You know what? this is ridiculous he can't act like this, I'm 20 if I want to kiss a guy I like it's none of his business.

"I don't even know why your acting like this I'm a young women I can kiss a guy if I want too" I say because he has no right acting like this.

"But not my friend Avril you don't kiss my friend's" he says stating a fact.

"No offense mate but I can kiss a girl if I want to" Connor says as he gets off the chair and stands next to me.

"Did it have to be my sister you ass?!" Jake says as he charges for Connor I get in between them "Jake stop"

I look over at Connor and see how hurt he is of how his friend is acting towards him, I reach out my hand to hold his but he brushes me off, I look him in the eyes but he looks away.

That one action hurt I swallow the lump in my throat as I hold in the tears. I can't take this anymore.

"You know what Jake this isn't any of your business but don't worry I'm leaving for college in two days so you don't have to worry about anything else going to happen" I say my voice breaking.

I can't believe Connor acted so cold he probably blames me for ruining his friendship with Jake but he kissed me but why do I feel like it's all my fault?.

I make my way out of the kitchen trying to get as far away from this situation as possible, I don't look back.

I don't want to go to my room, what if Connor try's to find me? I can't be next to him right now he really hurt me but maybe that was an act in front of my brother to seem like there was nothing there I don't know what to believe anymore.

I decide to go outside, I open the back door as quietly as possible I don't want anyone finding me out here.

I make my way to the garden swing I used to love this swing when I was a kid, life was so much easier then I didn't have to worry about college are guys I would just play on this swing and all my worry's would just float away.

But as I sit on it, it's not the same my worry's are still there they will never go away I realise.

That's when I can't hold it in anymore ,everything is just too much with the coldness from Connor and Jake mad at me.

The tears run down my cheeks I hold in sobs not wanting anyone to hear me, why is life so hard? I ask my self.

No one tells you how to handle life's dilemmas you have to figure it out yourself, I just wish for once that someone would tell me what to do, tell me how to be an adult.

That whole bullshit of figuring it out when you older is just that bullshit and I don't feel any wiser than I was at sixteen.

I thought I would have everything worked out by now I would have a job have a nice boyfriend but no I'm a mess I'm just the same broken girl I was when I was sixteen, nothing has changed.

Things would be different when Connor came back that's what I said to myself he always knew how to put a smile on my face.

But whatever we had it's over now because I know Connor, his friendship with Jake means a lot to him, he won't risk it again.

I sit on the swing for a while contemplating my whole life what college is going to be like will I meet someone there? that will make me forget about Connor.

I don't know but I do know that I need to leave or Jake might kick Connor out for what happened last might.

I dig in my jean pocket for my phone and ring the one person I know who would be up at this time, Kelsey she's always up late binge watching some new show on Netflix.

She answers the phone on the first ring "hey Avril what's up?" she says in that cheery voice of hers.

"Everything is a mess Kelsey do remember when I told you about Connor?"

"yeah of course what's wrong what's a mess you sounds like you've been crying who do I need to hit?" I laugh at her joke "no one it's just me and Connor were in the kitchen and I was on his lap kissing him"... "sounds interesting

she interrupts me before I finish "it's serious Kelsey just listen"

"okay I'm listening go on" she says

"well we were full on making out and Jake walks in and see us he was ready to knock Connor out I've messed everything up"

"oh shit what are you going to do? and second it's not your fault it takes two to tangle"

"yeah I know but Connor acted like I ruined his friendship with Jake, and currently I'm hiding in the garden to answer your question" I say.

"please tell me your not hiding in the hedges Avril? "

"what! of course not I'm sitting on the swing no ones found me yet thankfully I can't face anyone."

"Stop being dramatic Jake will calm down soon he's just being a protective brother" she says "I guess your right can we go some where tomorrow like the cinema are something? I need to get out this house" I ask her.

"Of course you know I have a thing for that guy that serves the popcorn" she says "Kelsey you have a thing for every guy with a pulse" I say

"hey! I'm glad your feeling better but that's not true only the cute ones" she says I laugh typical Kelsey she flirts with every guy she see's.

She's even flirted with Jake on one occasion that was the last time I brought her to hangout at my house.

We hang up after talking for a bit more, that actually helped I feel a lot better now that I talked to my friend I can't wait for the cinema.

please god let this whole night be but a dream I say in my mind knowing that's not going to happen.

That's chapter 3, i hope you love it thanks for reading xoxo