The Games we Play

Part 13

At this point I was due matter fact I was passed due I mean. I was trying all kinds of shit to get this shit going. Working out wasn't working, hell I even started fucking the guys almost 3 times a day. Ok that was more so for my benefit since we can't fuck for 4-6 weeks after I give birth. But I was so desperate I started blowing up balloons, a bitch was willing to try anything. I was currently bouncing on a birthing ball while eating pineapples and strawberries with whipped cream. The guys where sitting on the couch next to me playing cod on the ps5. Feeling like I had to shit I stand up and instantly feel a gush of water run down my leg.
Lucas:did you just pee?
Lee:don't just stand in it go shower, old pissy ass
Okay so I thought it was just Braxton Hicks I have been feeling all day I had got them before so I chalked this up as that.
Me:okay so fuck you both cause they definitely heard y'all and two it was my water.
Lee:you don't have water
I'm mad cause he looks genuinely confused, Lucas on the other hand jumps up and drops the remote
Lucas:ITS TIME!GET THE BAGS AND THE CAR. AND ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN WALK!
Okay he really has to calm down at this point they are both running around like mad men going to the room down the hall I jump in the shower and throw a dress on. I didn't wanna go dirty. Walking out the room the house is quiet hearing my phone ring I pick it up.
Lee: WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU IN THE CAR I THOUGHT YOU WAS IN THE BACK SEAT IGNORING US CAUSE YOU IN PAIN AND YO ASS IS IN THE HOUSE!
Me: I'm just trying to figure out why y'all keep yelling at me. I think it's supposed to be the other way around.
Hearing the door burst open I'm suddenly swooped up and taken out the door thank god we can lock the door from our phones cause they were not concerned about that at all.

It's been a few hours and I'm only 5cm dilated since the last time they checked me and your girl is in pain and tired. Lucas had finally calmed down and was rubbing my back to help with the pain. While Lee was still freaking out and honestly getting on my nerves. Lucas had set up my vlogging camera in the corner because I wanted to record everything. The doctor came back in to check me again and I was at 8 1/2cm once he walked out I stood back up to lean over the bed because laying down was uncomfortable and I refuse to be in pain and uncomfortable.
Lucas: Lee go get her some ice
Lee: why can't you do it
Lucas: cause unlike you I'm too busy making sure she's good instead of pacing and adding more stress to her.
Finally looking at me Lee sees that I've been silently crying because of how much pain I'm him. He grabs the cup and walks out. I didn't want to get anything, I wanted to do this natural. I had spent hours on end watching the horror stories of women giving birth especially black women and I had done so much research to find the best doctor for me that addressed all of my concerns but nothing could prepare me. It didn't hurt at first it was like a dull ache I could handle that but it just kept getting stronger and more frequent and I was starting to doubt myself. Was I really ready for this. For a baby I mean just last year I was fucking damn near anybody that caught my eye with no remorse. Hell what if my kid turns out like me, like I'm fire as hell but I had no regard for other people. Lucas was older and I'm sure he was ready for this but Lee was still young what if he decided to leave me I didn't honestly know who's child I was carrying or how they would react what if they left me, could I honestly do this emotionally without them. At this point I had worked myself up to the point where my heart rate was beating too fast and my nurse was damn near running in the room to check on me.
"What's wrong with her, are y'all stressing her out? Let me go get her doctor." She says before running out. I've never been one to doubt myself hell I've always been so sure but what if I jumped the gun. Lee rushed into the room as the nurse was walking out grabbing me he had me straddle his lap while Lucas continued to rub my back. They kept asking me what was wrong but how can I even say it out loud when it's all hitting me so fast from all over the place. Feeling a mask being placed on me I start to focus on what's going on around me. Listening to Lee's voice as he whispers in my ear I start to calm down.
The doctor says that I had a panic attack, who the hell has a panic attack while giving birth I have no clue but I need to get it together.
It was time to push and I had made the decision to push while on all fours.

I was tired and exhausted but my baby's head was just coming out and I was honestly over it. Thank god my doctor and I had a talk about things I didn't want and she knew better than to say one more push when she knew there was still a few left.
With 3 more big push the baby was finally out and crying signing in relief I relaxed a little until I felt something weird. Shaking my head no I started crying "somethings not right," no one heard me
"SOMETHING IS WRONG"
Feeling my doctor move back behind me after handing the baby to a nurse
Ohh...it's.......