i love news about nature and new exciting things that have happened. most news just shows what's going wrong and i usually tend to avoid watching it. if i watch bad news it causes me to become anxious and believe in some of the things i hear.
yesterday i made two different chapters for a day and i decided i will not do that anymore. i was thinking about it randomly and i remembered how wattpads ads worked. it's only 7:30 am and i'm alone with my thoughts, and i'm journaling so i can sort them out instead of letting them beat me up.
i've realized more and more lately that nature is healthier in places where technology isn't taking over. forests are so beautiful and part of that is because there are no cell towers everywhere.
racing thoughts fucking suck i cant stop them i don't know why they're here i just wanna be at peace again but i can't and i don't know what to do
thomas is such a cunt to my mom and we all know it i fucking hate it and i'm tired of it i'm sure she is too
i don't like to express it and lately i've been just keeping a distance and not talking and thomas cried about it to my mom and now she's giving me a talk
he said he feels like i don't wanna be around him and that's fucking true
his feelings are hurt but i'm distancing myself for good reasons and when i don't i'm allowing him to harm me and i'm tired of having to keep acting like i don't care when he says shitty things to me because he makes my mom feel bad for him
i hate thomas and i'm glad he knows i do i'm fucking sick and tired. he hit me when he was 15 and i was 8. he pressured his girlfriend non stop into taking birth control. he's a terrible person. i hate him i hate him i hate him and i'm tired of him being a cunt then acting all sad that's we don't wanna be around him.
i'm gonna meditate and go to sleep
