It Will Always Be You (MxM)

12. Nolan

"What did he mean by 'I will call you about the case' Jess, I really didn't understand it" I said plopping next to her "didn't he want me to be close to him, he was happy when he came back Jess. He was smiling then out of the blue his face changed, he didn't even eat dinner for god's sake and when Madi asked if I should put her to bed, I was excited but he cut me off before I could say anything Jess. Please tell me that you get me, I am so confused about all of this" I rambled on to Jess who was busy painting her fingers nails as if she wasn't hearing me. Or because I was talking about the same thing since yesterday and she was tired of it.

I spent the night at Jessica's, I didn't want to be alone and if I did, I would have gone crazy. I have not stopped talking about it, it's making my head spin in circles.

I feel like I did something wrong for him to act like that. He was happy to see me, I saw it in his eyes. Or he was mad about that we almost kissed" Jess I think I know what happened, I think it's because of the kiss" fuck why didn't I think about it earlier, I'm so stupid. I stood up as I started pacing around in the room. Didn't he want me to kiss him. Of course, he didn't, he has a boyfriend. But I thought he wanted it, the way he was looking at me, the way his face changed, the way he struggled to keep his moans at bay.

I know he wanted it!

"Can you please stop pacing around, you're making me dizzy" Jess huffed at me.

"I am panicking here Jess, what if he changes his mind and he doesn't want me to see the kids Jess" I asked scared. I had a good day yesterday with my kids and they were adorable and cute I can't get enough of them. I want to spend time with them more often but what if I ruined everything with their daddy, what if Nathan refuses to let me see them again.

Oh God I am a total fuck up!

"You almost kissed him Nolan" Jess asked after putting her manicure aside giving me her full attention with a bored expression on her face "I can't believe you can be this stupid Nolan" Jess snorts.

"What Jess, tell me if you get it" I say pleadingly "I don't want to lose them, all of them. I have discovered that I still have feelings for him, he still makes me tremble just by being next to him" I again ramble on, I was determined to kiss him yesterday, if it wasn't for Mason interrupting, I wanted those soft plump lips of his on mine so badly.

"Nolan babe I love you but sometimes you act so stupid" Jess says again "you almost kissed him and didn't say anything" Jess said

"I wanted to say something but he beat me to it saying that he knows it was mistake" I tell her tapping my leg unconsciously.

"It's because he thinks you're playing games Nolan, if you don't recall my dear friend you played with his heart years ago" I looked at Jess with wide eyes, she is totally right. Nate thinks I am playing with his feelings.

"But I am not toying with him Jess" I say

"Does he know that" she arches her eyebrows up standing up "I think you should go talk to him, make him understand where he stands, by the looks of it that poor tough lawyer is still crazy about you" I looked at Jessica with confusion in my eyes.

"How do you know" I ask

"My little mermaid Madi told me that her daddy never dates like at all. And he never introduced anyone to them, only one day when they saw a friend of his kissing him but he never said that he was his boyfriend or something and Madi said Nate has photos of you in his bedroom. I think he still loves you after all first love is the deepest" she says as she picked up her manicure bag "if I were you, I would've gone to see him already. I will stay at Tony's, feel free to sleep here again" she said climbing up the stairs leaving me alone in my thoughts.

I think she is right; I have to clarify myself to Nate that I am not toying with him this time. I rushed to the door getting my keys getting out in a hurry. I drove off to his firm my heart beating so fast in my chest you may think it may come out any minute. I love Nate and I have to do everything in my power to have him. I parked outside his firm gripping the steering wheel praying to God for him to be there.

I got out going towards the elevator my palms sweating and almost feeling like I couldn't breathe. Nathan makes me feel nervous, he makes my heart skip with only his smile. I reached his floor strutting towards his office; his secretary wasn't on her desk so I walked towards his door and knocked on it softly.

I opened the door when he said come in seeing him with his secretary going through something on his computer. His eyes widened seeing me his pink soft lips agape "hi can I talk to you Mr. Wright for a moment, if you're not busy" I said, he seemed to be out of his trance as he cleared his throat shifting in his chair.

"Give us a minute Elin" he looked at his secretary who nodded but his eyes were still on the computer.

"First read this paragraph sir" she smiled showing him something. Nathan gasped at what he was seeing.

"Print it out I need to know the full details ok, that's why I love you and please send someone to the party" he smiled at her sweetly making my heart cringe in jealousy.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you sir, if you're not a member they don't allow you in" Elin said.

"Ok I will think of something" Nate replied with a small smile. "Take a seat Mr. Thompson, let me hope this won't take long I have like five minutes, I have to be in a meeting" he said professionally like he doesn't know me at all. The secretary closed the door behind her as I looked at him in the eye. He was making himself busy arranging some files and papers on his desk. I knew what he was doing he was ignoring me.

"Are you going to stop me from seeing the kids" I voiced out my fear

"What? Why would I do that" he asked taken back. I walked towards him sitting on top of his desk facing him. "What are you doing Nolan" he asked nervously and I saw him shiver because of my presence.  He likes me, Jess was right. His reaction shows that he still likes me.

"You said you will call me about the case Nate" I said to him, he was biting his lips which was making me dizzy and want him more. He looked to be in thoughts, his eyes searching for what to say. "Yesterday after dinner you seemed to be upset about something. Did I do something wrong" I ask gripping the desk hard.

"You did nothing" he drawled not looking at me while pushing his chair back to stand up and move away from me. "I told you Nolan, I will never deny you from seeing your kids. You have a right to see them" he was about to pass by me when I caught his hand stopping him. "Nolan-" he breathed out my name looking at me warningly. His eyes dark in anger.

"Nate something happened, tell me what is the matter please" I stood up standing in front of him feeling his body heat.

"Nothing happened, it's my silliness that's all. Anytime you want to see the kids you're welcome. I will see you later I have to go" he said nervously picking up some file wanting to run away. I can see it in his eyes. I pulled him towards me putting my hands around his body, he still fits in my arms even though he had grown a little bit bigger now with muscles. He was breathing hard, his face all red as he tried to wiggle out of my hold "Nol-an let g-go" I made the famous tough lawyer stutter. "Pl-please don't play games with me, my heart will not take it the second time" he whispers putting his hands on my chest trying to pull away from me. I tightened my grip around his waist to stop him from moving.

Jessica was right, he thinks I am toying with him again. I have to buy that girl something "Nate, I am not toying with you" I say leaning in as I pressed a kiss to his cheek lovingly. "Just give me a chance" he finally looks up at me through his eyelashes with wide brown eyes "I am not lying to you Nate" I whisper caressing his cheek.

"Um huh" he was lost for words and I don't want him to say anything.

"I just want to kiss you Nate. You have been on my mind since I saw you again. I have realized how much I have missed you over the years, no one will be like you Nate" he gasped as I leaned in our breath mingling together like yesterday his body emitting a lot of warmth which was driving me crazy. "Please I need to kiss you baby" he shivered at my pet name.

He looked at me for a minute or so and the next minute I was tasting his sweet lips.

I pulled him closer nibbling on his lower lip asking for entrance which he gladly opened up for me sliding my tongue inside his warm coven, tasting his mouth like never before. A small moan escaped his mouth in contention like he had been craving for this.

I deepen the kiss, kissing him hard, sparks passed through my whole body just by kissing him. He tastes like chocolates, which is totally making my mind fuzzy. Our mouths moved in sync like never before, I was not getting enough of him, his taste was maddening my thoughts, his mouth was addicting and I wanted more.

Nate was the first to pull away breathing hard as he looked at me with desire in his eyes. I knew mine were the same right now. "What are you doing to me" I say pecking his red swollen lips passing my hands over his back "whatever you are doing to me I like it Nate" I said

"Until when" he asks the question, I wasn't ready to answer but being here with him, I don't want to let go like ever. I will never be stupid again to leave him. I know it's his fear and I don't blame him, I did it once.

"Until you get tired of me" I reply sincerely. He smiled pressing his lips to mine again kissing me hard until we were both breathless. "Go out with me"