LET MY GUARD DOWN (BUCKY BARNES)

5. THE DO-OVER

And you know what? Things did get better after that. Bucky made more of an effort to listen to you. He'd ask you questions, talk to you about what going on in your life. He'd ask about what you did in the year you were apart. And he'd tell you more about himself. He didn't close himself off like he used to. You were finally seeing past the façade, behind the mask, that he put up for everyone else. It felt...It felt like you had finally become friends and, for that, you couldn't be more grateful. Because, at the end of the day, although Bucky had broken your heart, you also knew that he was the type of person you wanted in your life. He hadn't hurt you maliciously, he had only been looking out for himself. And, while that isn't okay, he's more than made up for it. He's open, he's kind, he's caring. He goes out of his way to show you now that he cares for you as much as you care for him.

You went on walks in the park together. He took you out to dinner nearly every week, always picking a place that he knew you would love. Sometimes, he showed up at your work with a cup of coffee from that little cafe that he knew you loved. One time, he showed up at your apartment for game night with a pack of your favorite pens, and you hadn't stopped smiling for the entire night. Yeah, Bucky Barnes was your friend, and you were proud to say it.

A few months had passed since the two of you had finally talked everything out, and you began to feel yourself falling for him again. Admittedly, the thought scared you. Though the Bucky you knew now was so different than the Bucky you knew a year ago, it still plagued your mind that he would fall into old habits. That he would just shut you out, and that he wouldn't let you back in. That if you told him you loved him again, he'd take off running. That he'd leave your life for good. And you weren't sure if you could take that kind of ache again, if you could let him back in if he repeated the mistakes of the past.

But Bucky Barnes had found great joy in surprising you.

You supposed that was why he had taken to being more spontaneous. He'd once remarked that he loved seeing the way your face lit up when he got you something, when he showed up to your apartment unannounced just because. And you began to notice all of the ways that he tried to get that joyful look back on your face.

Still, nothing could've prepared you for seeing Bucky waiting for you outside as you got off from work.

Okay, okay. That's not totally true.

He'd done that a lot, to be fair. Walking you home from work, or taking you out to dinner after work, seemed to be one of his favorite things to do. You'd begun to look forward to the surprises, loving the way he looked so positively giddy as he bounced on the balls of his feet, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, while he waited for you to make your appearance.

But there was something different about today. You weren't sure why, but...he looked almost nervous? Almost like a kid who got caught with one hand in the cookie jar kind of nervous. You weren't quite sure what you were expecting when you walked up to him, but it wasn't at all within the realm of possibility that you had developed.

"Hey, Buck," you greeted.

"Hey," he said. He shuffled slightly, and he said, "Can I...Can I ask you something? And you won't laugh?"

"When have I ever been known to just laugh at you?"

"Well, when I told you that story about the raccoon—"

"That's different!" you laughed. "I didn't know that was serious! I promise I would never laugh at you if I thought it was serious."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Would you...Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Your mouth fell open. You...You could hardly believe this. He liked you back? He wouldn't run the other way if you told him you had feelings for him? He...He liked you?

"You can say no! Don't feel like you have to—"

You threw your arms around him, knocking him slightly off balance while he held onto you with the hand that wasn't holding the flowers. "Of course I'll go on a date with you, Buck."

He let out a breath, and he held you tight. It almost felt like he was scared to let you go, as if him letting you go would mean that none of this was real. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

You pulled out of the hug, smiling softly up at him. "No, I think I do."

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose you do." He looked down at the flowers, then held them out to you. "Here, I remembered you said these were your favorite, and I...I thought it was only right to get you something almost as beautiful as you for our first date."

"And if I said no?"

"Then you still deserved something beautiful."

"You're quite the charmer, Buck."

"Only for you, Y/N."

"C'mon, let's walk back to my apartment so I can put these in a vase and put on something pretty—"

"—you already look gorgeous—"

"—hush! My dress slacks are not a cute date outfit. I'll get changed real quick, and then you can take me on whatever magical evening you have planned. Is that okay?"

"That sounds wonderful." He smiled at you, a real genuine smile that showed off his pearly white and made his eyes crinkle in the corners. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple and he whispered, "I'm so glad that I let my guard down around you."