Hare Moon

Don't Panic! On Your Way Out

Previously in How to Look Good in Smart Casual...A budget Gok Wan chose the outfit of a nineteen year old possible cult initiate.

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The house on the Loch gets bigger and bigger as we walk up the causeway. Yes, that's how perspective works but I swear it actually swells and expands until it is a looming beast before me. Sunny takes me around to a side door and sneaks me in because apparently I'm supposed to walk in the front door in half an hour to a picture perfect family waiting to greet me. He stops me inside the entryway, pointing out a security camera and tugging me to the side of the room where he pulls out a finger gun. So we've gone from rom-com to James Bond. 

Wait-- this is his house, right?

With a mechanical hum the camera turns toward us.

"Fudgicles." Sunny makes a series of quick hand gestures. The camera turns away. "Our man on the inside."

There are two doors and we head through one and up some stairs. At the top Sunny opens another door. "If Alpha team sees us, darling, our cover is blown," he whispers, peering around the doorframe. 

I snicker. 

"Oh, do be quiet, sugar, the place is rigged with bugs. Our only hope is to stay silent and avoid the security cameras there, there, and in that lamp. Roger?"

"I thought I was darling."

"You're sassy is what you are. Now move, move, move!"

On our way to the upper floor we creep past the sleeping guard, hack the eye scanners and engage in a shoot out with a rather alarmed Milton. He stands in the hallway, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else as Sunny spits silver bullets at his very wet, very hairy, very naked, chest. I spin to face the other way, afraid Sunny is going to disturb the towel around his waist and, well...

"Sassy?" Sunny taps my shoulder. "It's all clear. I defeated the naked giant."

"I-I was just..." Why am I embarrassed? I'm hardly an innocent virgin. I'm an adult for goodness sake, I should be more embarrassed to be playing spies. "I'm just contacting base. They've sent over the blueprints of the secret lab."

Sunny rubs his hands together. "Excellent."

There's loud music filling the hall. The heavy screech of The Emperor's New Clothes reminding me of my sister. Is this what Milton listens to at school? When he drums his fingers irritatingly on the desk constantly is he tapping along to Panic! At The Disco?

We approach the open door where the music is coming from. Sunny performs a flawless roll across the doorway but I can't help peering inside. Clarice sits on the edge of the bed, chewing furiously on a toothpick while jabbing at a controller and scowling at the television. A crisp white dress shirt hangs open over boxer shorts. At least it's not a towel. What looks like a red birthmark decorates his chest, over his heart. It's difficult to see from this angle but I think it says RIt in jagged letters, the horizontal line of the 't' sloped down like something sat on one end.

Song lyrics blare out, oddly fitting as they discuss being both dressed up and naked. The sounds of rapid fire echo above the music and blood paints the room in his video game. His own room, on the other hand, is tidy aside from the unmade bed, a heap of clothes on the floor, and a pack of playing cards that appears to have exploded in the middle of the space. It smells very strongly of teenage boy.