Hare Moon

I Mean It, Avoid Family Dinners

Previously on How Jack Met My Mother...Bunny gallivanted about the woods for a bit, running into some rando from a party, his sister and two slightly incompetent bodyguards, who helped her slaughter an innocent tree and hide the body in her house.

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It's chucking it down on Sunday so Erin picks me up. She arrives in a police SUV of all things. Pretty sure she's not supposed to be driving that. A couple of the werewolves guarding my house check who it is before they let me get in. If my parents see they'll wonder what the heck is going on and why there are people creeping out of the trees surrounding our property.

When I look back at the house I don't see either of them at the windows, but that means nothing. Mum can be very sneaky. She could be peering through the branches of the newest member of our family—Kittree, named so after showing the tree off to Kitty, who insisted we use it as a stand in for herself until she can visit. The front window is lit up, the tree twinkling proudly on display.

"Steph, Simon. Mind if I steal your charge? She's got a date with the Macs," Erin says.

The guards wave for us to continue.

Erin turns to me as I open the door. I slide inside, pulling down my hood carefully, so as not to mess my hair. My cramps have abated but I still didn't feel like fancying up so I pulled on a simple festive dress with a black and white deer pattern and just hope the wolves don't feel inspired to pounce. They do like their venison. One look at Erin and I feel underdressed.

"Hey, we're both wearing reindeer." Erin snickers. An honest to God cape is draped around her shoulders, ending mid stomach. It's made of an animal pelt, the fur ranging from brown to white. "Like it? It was a gift." Erin holds her chin up, excessively proud. She folds it over to reveal a soft velvet lining. The stitching is a little untidy around the edges but it still looks expensive and extravagant. Should I be impressed or repulsed? I decide on quietly appreciative. 

Erin turns the engine on then turns to me with a smirk. "Bet you've never been in one of these before."

"Uh, yeah, actually." 

"Really?" She gapes. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! I had a panic attack because I missed my stop on the subway and got off somewhere outside of the city. This police officer came up and asked if I was on drugs. I swear he was getting ready to arrest me or something, and I nearly shat myself."

Erin snickers. "And he arrested you?"

"No, another officer came over and gave him what for. She yelled 'yer bums so far out the window it's draggin'. Then she calmed me down and asked for my address. The first officer was a total grump about having to drive me home, but we stopped at McDonalds and that cheered him up."

"Yer bums draggin'" Erin is doubled over with laughter. "I'll have to remember that one!" 

When she calms down we take off through the thick rain. I hope we don't crash. We probably will, right? There's a lot of potholes, and the turnings are not clear at all. I rub at my wrists. Think of something else. Handcuffs. I narrowly avoided wearing them that day, little did I know I'd been wearing a pair since the day I was born. According to this lot, anyway.

"Is this soul thing supposed to happen at birth? What about before I was born, did Milton not have a soulmate then? What if I had never been born, would some rando be his mate?"