The Girl From No Where

Chapter 3- Scream

TW: Self harm, depersonalization, mentions of pills, blacking out, obsessive behavior. Lmk if there's any others.

(This story is supposed to be fun and not hard to read, but my sister had said this was wholesome and I needed to work it in there so, I apologize if it isn't as lovely and light as the previous couple chapters and a bunch to come, enjoy :) <3)

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Everyone hops in the truck, and we get headed off to the dirt roads. Deklan takes control of the music, picking all the right ones to let Ophelia know who we are. First was 'Grow as we go', then 'just my type', now 'wild heart' was playing and I was stopping at the lake that goes under the freeway. The amount of time Deklan and I spent here is... unruly. Him telling me how his anxiety is eating him, and I would never say a word. I'd just grab his hands, and s c r e a m. Scream as loud as we could, because no one would ever hear us here. As the cars rushed by above us, living their normal lives. To and from work, dinner, school, hospitals, parks. We'd stand there and scream at our demons. The walls would echo in the void of our souls, making all other noises be silent for just a second. We wrote scream on the wall of this little tunnel, where kids would draw dicks and other childish things. One of them had wrote 'Deklan's gay' on it, and we scribbled it out and wrote 'Deklan deserves the world'. No one has touched it, but I don't think anyone else ever comes down here anymore. It was ours... and now we were sharing it with Ophelia. I kinda wanted to take her here because of her paragraph this morning... It reminded me of all the nights Deklan and I came here cause his dad was too drunk, and my mom was yelling, and we felt like our worlds would cave in. Well... his world would cave in. I was here for emotional support, my world was fine. And we'd scream... and scream... sometimes drink, watch the birds, but mostly just.... Scream. I wish that feeling could last forever, the feeling right after screaming when you feel satisfied and okay for just a moment everything seems like it'll be okay. I wish Deklan could feel okay with me.

"Scream?" Ophelia says after we get out of the truck.

Deklan and I look at each other... We let out the biggest screams we have in a while. Until we both run out of air and fall onto the ground in laughter, Ophelia laughing with us. We all just lay there, in the middle of the road, laughing. It dies down eventually and we all look at each other. I look at Deklan, and we both look at Ophelia. Then we all scream. Just scream. No laughter, no glances, no one else. Just us, and the screams. Screams of a high voice, a deep voice, and a voice that could be seen as either. So loud, and mixed so well... It almost sounded like silence.

I open my eyes and... I'm alone. I look around, and there's no one there. Why is no one here? They were just here... I hear a loud noise, and a bright light, I look over and the car hits me.

I open my eyes, and grab Deklan and Ophelia. A truck passes by and honks at us. We wave, and get back in the truck. I know they're wondering why I grabbed them like that, but I didn't want to hear about it and definitely didn't want to talk about it. I just turned the music on, and turned it up loud. I just shuffled my playlist, we'd be at my house in less than one song. 'Hidden in the sand' was the first to play and off we were. Back up the dirt road, towards my house. Where I'd hide them from my room and we'd play on the PS4 in my living room, while I play guitar they'd beat up stupid zombies or something.

My grasp seems to give, like I'm turning into a ghost. I just go through the steering wheel, falling though the car. Falling through the earth that never seemed to end, blacking out again. It felt like I was drowning. Falling and drowning. But I wasn't wet... I wasn't even moving.

I get pulled from my trace, back to the road, hitting the brakes at the stop sign. I could feel Deklan look at me, but I couldn't make eye contact right now. I smiled and kept driving to my house, parking the car and going inside. Straight to the bathroom while Deklan introduced Ophelia to my mother, conversing in the kitchen. I looked in the mirror, eye contact with myself. I went to put water in my hands to splash on my face, all I saw was pills in my hand. I dropped the pills, splashing water all over my jeans. I hit my head over and over and over, feeling my spine vibrate with every thud. I look in the mirror again and everything was clear. I splash water on my face, smile, and pretend to flush the toilet. I walk out with a smile, mom;s talking to Ophelia about where she came from, paying no attention to me as I sneak a look into the medicine cabinet, everything in the right spot. I make some food and smile along with the conversation. Nodding when I need to, laughing when I need to.

Everything was fine.

I was okay.

We were okay.