Chapter 5

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Gulf's Haunted past.

Everything that once happened is happening again. I vaguely remember that night .

" I was abused".

It took years for me to overcome every bad thing that happened to me .What happened to me at that night is why I was so distant from everyone.?
I couldn't believe I actually went through it. Without No and P'bright.I'd never recovered from it.

it was never an overnight process for me to get well ,the night feels more vivid or intense than a bad dream before my eyes. Those bad dreams wake me up at the middle of the night and left me with intense feelings upon which brings out strong feelings of my fear, terror, distress or anxiety. but gladly i did it and I overcame it.

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My past...

Once someone's hurt you, it's harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love. .." I can't face mew

I cannot blame Mew for acting like a jerk. He never cared for other's heart .Forcing him onto me was something that I never expected from him. He was never like this to me. There was a time when I actually liked him for real, but now he's a different person completely changed man.. I still remember how much i struggled to escape from his hold.but I couldn't, he was so strong compared to my physique and on top of that he was drunk and distressed because of his "Arty ".

I was never his.

Yes, I found out that his so called boyfriend left him and cheated on him for months..mew will be too loud when he's drunk he never stops and verbalize aloud everything that comes to his mind and .

why am i even bothered about it ?

i've always seen mew with arty at our hotel.I should've been more careful.Because he'd never ever do something to hurt me, it's not the first time we went wild, but this time it did hurt me a bit. When he called me Arty. When he was thrusting deep into me. He moaned his name.

"Arty "

I couldn't bring myself to see him again after everything that I've gone through. I never thought he would do such shitty thing to me.

I was hurt.....

Because of you.

Mew.

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My past haunted me.

That night I was set off to carry out some sort of necessity for the guys at the sauna.I was always serious about my work .So I assisted them in providing some basic guidance about using the sauna where Bright asked him to do.

I was lost.

They tied me up,I don't try to remember it but each time when i wake up from those terrible events.I could feel my skin getting burnt under everything that happened .everything was in chaos. My mind could no longer stay sane.

I struggled to breath to settle my mind ,I tried but I couldn't,I couldn't get out of their hold.Afterwards, I found myself on the hospital bed.

Those turn of events did affected me upside down.I suffered from depression.  My life was so dull and Afterwards I shut myself out from others. I did believed that they would come back and hurt me. I will never escape from those terrible memories of my past.I was having trouble in seeing people . I put myself to isolation for almost so many months until P ' bright happened.

"I'm grateful for those who saved me ."

He took care of me, protected me from any harm .P'bright was the one that was with me when I stayed at the hospital. I was under the care of doctor maya.she was the one that brough me back,replaced my broken slice of memories with happy one 's .Those memories of me, NO and p'bright where treasured in my heart to pull me out and lead me to better day

I know, what happened is done, which is hard to forget. Such strong memories will always reside in my heart as a painful scar but Life has to move on, at least everyone that cared for me will be there forever with me .

No, never left my side, when I'm overwhelmed with those terrible memories of my past.he would hold me close to him whenever i felt emotional or distressed..

NO was my best buddy, and a loving brother. He used to tell me "to let go of everything.Time is the greatest healer...
I'm here for you whenever you need me gulf."

I wish I couldn't remember it at all , a bit of solace. No was right Though those memories were clearly evident in my conscious mind, it might not be gone but i have to let go of my past. I have to replace those with the good moments that I shared among the loved ones,having p bright close to me cheered me up.

P' bright was way too nice to me after the incident.i didn't deserve to be loved,i feel sad about it every time.if it doesn't have happened. P'bright won't ever be so worried about me.he would always be a friend and a brother for me, but everything changed from that day.he was there all the time even when i was all alone dealing with those horrible memories of my past.

P' Bright would always make me sleep before him by strumming some songs on his favorite guitar.He was such a good singer.He would lay close to me afterwards, holding onto my waist and when he confirms that i'm fully tired and asleep.He would come near to my ears and whisper those same words

" I cherish the memories of the time we spent together"- p'bright

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