Never Meant To Be

Chapter 5

A/N hello my lovely beans serious TW for suicide, cutting, and depression. You can absolutely not read this part, just comment here and I'll fill you in! Be safe love y'all

As I woke up I heard the crunching of leaves behind me. I knew who it was. Count Randall Removtdlro. I remembered his thinly veiled threat.  I stood up the pain in my leg now gone, the upsides of being a vampire I guess. "Funny to see you here?" Removtdlro's voice cooed I had expected his voice, yet it still sent shivers down my spine. I grabbed onto a branch of the tree. "No, Removtdlro the answer is still the same," I shouted trying to hide my fear, it didn't work all that well. "I gave you the opportunity to be great, to join the Greater Niakiophere Faction, it is not kind for you to decline me."  The count's voice was dangerously calm. 

I stopped.

"Ebony," he yelled. "You still owe me a favour!" I continued walking away. "You will join me or kill Harry Optter." I froze at that. I held my gold necklace to my lips kissing the metal and I thought of Harry's kind face and his soft eyes. I couldn't let him get hurt. I ignored the tear that ran down my face and continued walking. I couldn't let Removtdlro win, even if it meant my own death.

"No, Removtdlro!" I shouted back. Removtdlro gave me a sickening smile. "No! Please!" the words formed and were said without my consent. I wasn't in control.  "You must!" he yelled. "If you do not, then I shall kill John and everyone else, and Miss Darkness everyone will blame you, tick-tock time is running out." I turned back to look at him but the count was gone.

John chose that time to run into the woods.

"John!" I said. "Hi!" My face changed, he couldn't know.

"Hi," he murmured back awkwardly, I remembered what had happened between us and winced. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"No," he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad." I laughed quietly.

"That's okay," he said softly.

"Hey, John?" I asked my voice still shaking from my unexpected encounter with the Count of Hell. "Best friends?" He smiled at me and intertwined our right hands giving me a soft squeeze. "Ebony you are and always will be my best friend." I saw the hurt behind his eyes, I didn't mention it. 

I, despite everything that just happened managed to walk into rehearsals today with a smile, my smiles are usually strained but this one was simply fake. I am the lead singer of our band and I play the guitar. We write and play cringy music but I didn't mind, it was a safe space to fuck around with the little friends I had. Harry wasn't coming today because he I quote was  "Too depressed to show up" So we wrote our songs without him. 

Because we all fail at being creative we end singing a cover of 'Helena' The song is my favourite, it's Harry's favourite too, Harry who I may have to kill.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" Mary asked in a concerned voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I yelled furiously my anger taking control, I was having a panic attack I knew that my quickening heartbeat and laboured breathing. I cried I think, I don't remember.  I yelled something before running up to my room and collapsing, Willow wasn't in here, no one could stop me. I opened all of the draws my hand shaking fanatically where had Willow hid the knife. "Willow!" I yelled as I slammed my hand on the table, breaking a glass cup and drawing blood. That felt nice. I was in control again. I took the piece of glass and placed it on my wrist.

Are four months clean? Not anymore 

Mary found me this time, passed out in my room, the cuts which had been open wounds only hours ago were now ugly purple lines decorating my wrist next to the months-old pink ones. Mary tried to comfort me but I told her to fuck off and Mary left the room. "I'm getting Willow." She called behind her. I didn't care anymore. "Liar," I muttered.

A/N Thank you Lucinda I could not have written that, I try to approach self-harm respectfully since it was such a big player in the original story. All criticism is welcome even if you want to shit on me have a lovely day my smol beans!