~Pucker face~ Charlie Conway

Chapter thirteen: What Valentines Don't Do Part One

5 days until Valentine's

I was to leave the JV team immediately following my decision. But it just felt wrong. I wasn't ready to leave the ducks. The time where I was finally enjoying myself was so short lived.

The day of my first Varsity practice came, and I couldn't have been more devastated. Through the time where I agreed to take the step up to now, I regretted it. I spent the weekly off day I had sulking in my room. I had pinned myself as a traitor and expected the rest of the JV team to think the same of me.

Being in the rink with a bunch of bigger guys was not comforting. In fact, I was feeling more insecure than ever. I knew I was being judged the second my blades touched the ice. Given we had hours to go, my mental state would be in shambles by the end.

I was normally a person who had great confidence. Didn't dwell on mistakes, didn't doubt myself. This year, I really was knocked off that self-assurance streak. First of all, Charlie. Everyone knows that story. Second, this. I just couldn't catch a break.

"ALRIGHT BOYS! And girl." Coach Wilson said, addressing his team, "We are doing drills today. I want you sharp as arrows for the next game. That includes you Hagen."

All the boys turned my way, Scooter giving me a thumbs up. I just didn't understand. I was just as good as anyone on JV. Maybe it was my long pout session, but I felt that I didn't deserve this. I wasn't any different than players like Connie or Adam. My mom would say I'm acting ungrateful for such an amazing opportunity, but it was just too convenient.

We got a warmup in and began the drills. Speeds, agility, etc. It was more than tiring. Plus I was paired with Rick Riley who kept saying it was easy, when I was quite literally giving my all and still fell behind. When he asked me if I was okay, all I had to do was force a weak smile and give a half-hearted thumbs up. Convincing enough, right?

There was one more thing I noticed. Linda. Shocker. Though that seemed sarcastic, it really was shocking or odd to find her at a Varsity practice. Her boyfriend was in the next rink over, why would she need to be here?

She left quickly after we made a small bit of eye contact. I didn't care as long as she wasn't getting in my way. Although, I couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy...

As the hours on the ice passed, we finally finished up Coach Wilson's practice to-do list. As I walked out of the locker room, I noticed the ducks leaving at the same time. In an attempt to hide, I found myself behind a large column that stood near. Unfortunately, my fat bag was sticking out.

"Sloane!" Yelled Connie, running towards me, "Say, uh, whatcha doin'?"

Very flushed and a little fearful I replied.

"Oh....I'm just...here. Ya know...."

"Why weren't you at practice if you were here? I mean you have your bag and everything."

"Connie, we gotta talk."

🏒🏒🏒

"WHAT?"

Julie rose from my bed with her mouth wide open. It was just us girls in the room. Connie, Julie and I. I figured telling them first would be easier. 'Figured' is an educated guess. But sometimes guesses can be wrong. The nice thing is, it's always 50/50.

"That's insane!" Connie said, getting up and standing with Julie.

"I didn't know it would be that bad...sorry guys." I said, avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"No, no. We aren't mad Sloane. I mean a little jealous, but why would we be mad? I'm here to say I'm happy for you, it just sucks because you won't be around anymore." Julie admitted.