Chapter 3

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He was my father, yes, but he was usually so engrossed in his work that we didn't really get the chance to spend much time together. An evening at home was a secondary concern for one of the city's most celebrated lawyers.
"So"I came up from the fridge with a handful of grapes and a bottle of water, looking to my dad with a confused frown. "Yeah?""So." He cleared his throat, leaning up against the counter, crossing his arms. "You're going to that boy's funeral.
"Um . . . yeah," I said.
"Min Yoongi's."
His brows furrowed in thought for a moment. "Min . . . Why does that name sound so familiar?"I shrugged, popping a couple of grapes into my mouth.
"No idea. There are probably hundreds of people with that name in the city."
"Maybe."I munched on a few more grapes, silently hoping that the intercom by the door would ring at any moment, signaling the arrival of my cab, and I could make my escape from this unpleasant conversation.I didn't want to talk to my father about Min Yoongi.What I really wanted to do was to muster up the courage to say good-bye to a boy I'd barely known, find a way to let go of him and not feel so unusually guilty. To apologize for not paying more attention, for not being there in some way for him.
"Is Chaeyoung going with you to the funeral?" my dad asked after a moment.
"No, I'm going by myself," I said. "Chaeyoung's busy."My dad frowned again, looking unhappy at the prospect of my going out into the city alone.
"Are you sure? I'm not really . . . comfortable with the idea of you going out in the city at night," he said. "I could always, um . . . go with—"I was quick to stop him before he could get any further with that very unnecessary sentence.
"Dad. Please. I know the rules about being out in the city at night. I'll be fine. I promise."
"All right. Just keep your phone on you, okay? And don't stay out too late."
Thankfully, the intercom buzzed loudly right at that moment, preventing the conversation from continuing any longer.
"That's my cab," I announced, finishing the rest of my water bottle. "I've gotta go."
"Er, right."I gave my dad a quick hug and muttered out a good-bye, then walked swiftly from the kitchen, thoroughly grateful to be leaving.The air was frigidly cold, biting at my skin as I stepped out into the early December night. Hanson offered me a smile and a wink as he held open the door of the cab idling at the curb."Going somewhere?"
"A . . . funeral," I admitted. "One of my classmates, um, committed suicide."Hanson was silent for a moment. He didn't say he was sorry to hear that, and instead reached out to squeeze my shoulder. That, I think, was exactly what I needed.I slid into the overstuffed seat, tightly clutching the seat belt as Hanson swung the door shut.
"Where to?" the driver grunted.I gave the driver the address to the church Mrs. Anderson had mentioned. The cab pulled away from the curb and slid into traffic much too quickly for my liking. I leaned my head back against the seat and squeezed my eyes shut, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.I had no idea what to expect once I arrived. The last funeral I went to, I could barely remember. Would everyone be wearing black and crying? Would there be sad music playing? Would a fight break out among Yoongi's family members if someone spoke out of turn and said the wrong thing? Things like that seemed to happen at every funeral I'd ever seen on TV, but I didn't think that meant anything in the real world.When the cab pulled up to the curb outside of the church, I grabbed a few bills from my purse to pay the fare, then stepped out onto the sidewalk before I could convince myself that this was a terrible idea and beg to be taken home.I wrapped my arms around myself as a breeze whipped down the street, raising the hair on the back of my neck. I was expecting there to be people crowded around outside, sharing in their grief, but the place was as barren as the shelves in a store after Black Friday. But that same feeling of being watched crept over me as I walked up the front steps of the church.As I stepped inside, the smell of incense used during mass immediately hit my nose. It had been a while since I'd been to church—we'd stopped going once my parents' careers had taken off—but the familiarity was comforting on some small level.The lobby I was now standing in was just as empty as the steps outside, raising yet another alarm. Where was everyone? I slipped my phone out of my bag to make sure I hadn't gotten the time wrong.6:58.I couldn't just leave now.I took a deep breath, dipped my fingers into the bowl of holy water on my left, crossed myself, and then walked into the inner portion of the church. The front altar was decorated with bouquets of white flowers and cloths, almost like a Christmas mass but with a much more somber air. Set on a stand in front of the altar was a modest casket covered in a display of more white flowers.The church itself was beautiful, with stained glass windows and marble pillars, but it seemed even larger than it actually was due to the rows and rows of empty pews. Only the first two pews were occupied. I made out a few teachers—Mr. Choi, a math teacher, and Ms. Hwang, who taught literature—and then a small number of people who went to JFK Prep that I knew only by face and not by name.A part of me had expected the church to be packed. It was heartbreaking to see more people hadn't shown up to pay their respects to Min Yoongi and his family. I kept my eyes fixed on the front of the church as I quickly made my way down the center aisle, determined not to meet anyone's gaze. Not wanting to draw attention to myself, realizing I'd shown up exactly two minutes before the start of the service, I took a seat in an empty pew a few rows back, folded my hands tightly in my lap, and waited for the ceremony to begin.

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Haha imma update this book real quick it won't be too long trust me;)

Anyways hope you enjoyed it. 

Take all my love muwah :3

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