Don't be Happier

Chapter One

"What makes you sad?"

That's the first thing Louis reads on the paper. His heart beats a little faster. He clenches his jaw, never thought he'd actually be able to answer that question without thinking twice. Without thinking of a single, specific name.

Harry.

When Louis first met Harry he never knew he'd feel that way. He could've never guessed it. The younger boy was sitting at the table in the cafeteria of Lithon High, eating his apple while reading a book. Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. Louis remembers clearly. Remembers the way he felt when the boy looked up, as if he knew Louis was straight on staring at him. As if he knew Louis needed someone.

Harry called him over, smiling sweetly. "Hi," he said when older one approached slowly, feeling nervous. Louis bit his bottom lip, "hi," he said quietly, fidgeting with the hem of his black sweater. "Can I sit?" he asked. Harry smiled and patted the seat next to him.

And that's how it started.

Louis and Harry would had been friends for over ten years, now. It's a lot if you come to think of it. It made him feel butterflies in his stomach when he thought of the sleepovers, long nights wide awake and talking about their problems, crushes, school enemies. Harry would always cry when talking about Daniel. Louis hated Daniel. He was Harry's ex, the one who made him insecure and traumatised over falling in love again.

Louis never forgave him for that. But then, Louis understood Harry.

Falling in love wasn't for anyone. Especially not for Louis.

The first time Louis realised Harry was more than just a friend to him was during one of his football practices. Louis had just scored a goal and turned to Harry, sending him a heart formed with his hands. Harry smiled widely at him and screaming "LT, is what I see! LT we aim to be!" along with the other cheerleaders.

Harry was the fucking captain of the cheerleading team for Louis' death.

He'd always cheer in his tiny skirt, crop top and knee high socks. The blue and yellow uniform would always get Louis a little hot under his loose team shirt and shorts. He'd always ignore it though. That, of course, until he got home and got off to Harry fucking Styles and his fucking jumps and cheers and dimples. He'd always reach his high quick, wondering what it'd be like to fuck him in those clothes.

Anyways. Back to Louis realising Harry was more than just a friend part.

Louis felt his heart beat faster inside his chest when the game finished and Harry came running straight at him, jumping in his arms. "So proud of you," he said, nuzzling his nose into Louis' sweaty neck. Harry never care about his smell of the after games. One time he even said "I think it makes you even more attractive" and Louis had to hug him so Harry wouldn't see the evident ruby rose blush on his cheeks.

That day, Louis took the younger boy to a afterparty at Zayn's, his best friend, house. There, they drank more than they should. Louis drank enough to even decide that he'd try something with Harry. So, yeah, he drank too much.

Except, when Louis was searching for his Harry, he found him inside a room, full on making out with Lucas, the co-capitain of the football team. They didn't notice him and so he left and never, ever considered making a move again.

After that day, all Harry could talk about was Lucas and his sweet kisses and beautiful jawline and how sex with him was (according to him) "the best orgasm of my life, he can make me come without touching myself, Lou".

And that's when Louis realised his Harry had never really been his. And that kind of broke him.

Harry dated Lucas for three years. It seemed God was asleep when Louis was praying his strongest prayers so they would break up already.

The first months were just exhausting. Lucas was everywhere with them. The sleepovers barely even happened anymore, Harry was always busy with his boyfriend and whenever he was alone with his best friend, he'd only talk about him. And him. And him. It was just exhausting.

After one year, Louis got used to it. He started his last year and Harry had two more to go. The older one started dedicating himself the best he could so he could get into King's College in London and little by little they drifted apart.

When Louis comes to think of it, he feels Harry didn't even notice.

One month prior to his graduation, Louis walked into Harry's dorm and saw him in bed with Lucas. Having sex. It hurt him more than he could actually think it ever would. So he ignored Harry's calls for him and went to Zayn's house, where he was met with a house party. Yet another one. He drank all the drinks he could find, smoked all the joints his friend provided and ended up in bed.

Not having sex no.

He ended up in bed with Liam, one of Harry's oldest friends. Louis told him everything, cried about how Harry never liked him, about how he abandoned him. About how he hated love and would never fall for it again.

Louis fell asleep in Liam's arms and the boy held him for as long as he needed, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and telling everything would be fine.

After that night, Louis never spoke to Harry again.

Graduation came by, he got into the university he wanted so bad and moved without looking back. Without ever saying goodbye to Harry.

Harry. Harry who never called.

Today, six years later, Louis found himself in his big, wide office, with a woman sitting in front of him. Hannah was her name. Hannah was in her last year of economics graduation in King's College. She was there to ask Louis- no, not Louis. She was there to interview, Louis William Tomlinson, the laureate of his class. Louis William Tomlinson, the 25 year old man who was the youngest CEO that Bright Future's huge company has ever had.

"Sir?" Hannah called him attention, furrowing her eyebrows. "Are you listening?"

Louis shakes his head, leaving his trance. "Yes, sorry," he says. "What was the question again, love?"

"What makes you upset, sir." She says again, reading her notes.

The older man clenches his jaw. Don't think of him, he thinks.

"Lack of humility," Is the only thing he can think of answering.

When Hannah leaves, she thanks him a couple more times and closes the door. Louis sighs, feels the familiar warmth in his stomach and runs to the bathroom. He pukes. "Fuck," he mutters under his breath, standing up from the floor and flushing the toilet.

Looking into the mirror, the man sees his reflexion and doesn't like it. Handsome, dripping gold and yet sadness. He sighs and closes the door.

He takes his phone from the table and sits in one of the armchairs. There's a message from Liam in their group in iMessage. It reads "Can't wait for this weekend, can't believe we're meeting with our old class".

Louis gulps. Doesn't want to think about him.

"You just want to see your ex," he replies.

A message from Zayn soon comes, "shut up, Louis, he's married" and Louis laughs, his heart warming.

"At least two of you had it right," he types and sends.

Niall sends an angry emoji. "Speak for you," comes on the screen and then "I'm taking Ashe".

A second later, a facetime call rings. Louis picks up and soon sees his three best mates on the screen, Liam and Zayn together in one. "The fuck do you want?" he says jokingly.

"We're leaving at 8pm," Liam says and soon notices Louis' nervousness. "He won't be there, Lou, he's too busy."

Louis ignores him.

"Can't wait to see you assholes," Zayn changes the subject and takes a hit of his joint.

"Can't wait." Louis says.

But all he can think is he won't be there, secretly hoping he will.