ᵒⁿᵉ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐒 ˡᵃʳʳʸ ˢᵗʸˡⁱⁿˢᵒⁿ (ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉᵈ)

does he know?

Louis and Harry stand in the kitchen. Harry leans against the wall and Louis kisses him. Harry rests his hands on his hips, tracing small circles with his thumb. Louis has his hands in Harry's hair, playing with his curls.

"I love you, Lou." Harry whispers, pressing their foreheads together, his soft breath hitting Louis's face. Louis shivers slightly.

He kisses Harry again before responding. "I love you too." He pauses, creating about an inch more between them. "Harry, do you think...about yesterday..." He pauses again, thinking. "Do you think that Niall...knew? Was he just teasing or did he know something? Do you think he knows about us?"

"I don't know." Harry says quietly, bringing one hand up to his cheek and gently runs his thumb over it. "I don't know, love."

Louis sighs, resting his forehead on Harry's shoulder. "I kind of hope he does."

"Why?" Harry asks, putting his arms around Louis's waist, pulling him closer again. "Why do you hope Niall knows."

"Because then maybe this could all be over," He says. "Then we wouldn't have to hide this. We could tell everyone and everything would be so much easier."

"Lou, just because Niall knows doesn't mean we can tell everyone." Harry says. Louis tilts his head back in exasperation, blue eyes flashing. "Look," Harry says, putting his hands on his face, making him look at him again. "I know this sucks. I know. I know how bad it sucks. I know it hurts. It hurts so bad. But I'm living it too, Lou and there's nothing we can do. If the world didn't accept us, then we would have ruined the band for Niall and Liam and Zayn and I know you wouldn't want that either. None of us would like that."

"Harry-" Louis starts, thoroughly annoyed, jerking away from his grip.

"No, I'm not done." Harry says. "I know how badly you want us to just be a normal couple because I do too. I know you hate all this more but Louis, at least we have each other. Because without you, Lou, I don't know if I could take it. I know I couldn't take it. Not any of it."

Louis closes the gap between them, pressing his lips against Harry's. It's heated but not out of lust, out of anger and love at the same time. "I love you, Haz, I do. But I just don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Louis..." Harry sighs. Louis takes a deep breath. He pulls away from Harry and takes a couple steps back. Harry's arms fall to his side. He looks at Louis, green eyes full of pain.

"I love you, Harry." Louis says, slapping his arms against his side. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep in your own bed tonight."

"Love you too." Harry mumbles as Louis walks away into his bedroom.

Harry runs a frustrated hand through his thick hair. He grabs his coat from the back of the couch and walks out the door, shutting it behind him a little too loud. He slips on his coat, tugging on the sleeves so they cover his hands. 

He gets in his car and presses his forehead to the steering wheel. He doesn't even know how he's feeling. Angry. Mad. Upset. Sad. Afraid. Two tears fall down his face. He wipes them away bitterly. He has no reason to cry. Louis didn't break up with him. They just had a fight. It was just a fight. Barely a fight, at that. He leans back and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes. Then, he hears a tap on the window, knuckles rapping against the cool glass.

He looks up and sees Louis standing there, hands in his jacket pockets, looking at his feet, blue eyes cast down. Harry rolls down the window then lets his fingers rest on the little bit of glass still sticking up. His fingertips start to grow cold while both boys stay in silence for a second. 

"Hey, Lou." Harry says quietly, removing his hand from the window, moving it to his lap. He folds his hands, lacing his fingers together.

"Harry." Louis says. "Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get upset. It's just really hard. I love you so much." Harry nods, unable to speak without crying. His chest is tight and his eyes glisten with tears. "Oh, Hazza, come here."

Harry gets out of the car and lets Louis wrap his arms around him. Harry presses his face into Louis's neck, more tears falling down his face. He doesn't even know why he's crying at this point but he starts to sob anyway.

"If this is the only way to be with you, Harry, I'll do it." Louis says, rubbing his back. "I'll do it forever, for you, okay? I'll stop complaining. I know you can't do anything about it, Haz." Harry nods against Louis's neck. "I love you, Harry Styles." Harry lifts his head and looks at Louis, still crying. Louis sighs softly. "Hazza...Hazza, it's okay. I'm sorry. You don't need to cry."

Harry presses the palms of his hands to his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry."

He kisses Harry, moving his hands to his face. Harry puts his hands on Louis's waist. The kiss is gentle; Louis trying to make him feel better and Harry just having barely any energy anymore. 

"Louis, will I ever...will this ever...will this ever not be enough?" Harry asks, his voice rough from crying. "I need to know if this will ever not be enough. Because I can't lose you in an instant. I need to know, Lou."

"No, Har." Louis says. "I love you too much for you to ever not be enough. I couldn't lose you either, Hazza." Louis kisses him again and Harry kisses him back, tears running down both of their faces now.