beliefs ° 2kim

chapter 7

"do you like someone right now?" chaewon asks all of a sudden, and minju's smile drops before she looks away.

chaewon notices minju's actions. she knows that minju knows. she made it obvious anyway.

you know what.

that she likes minju.

minju kind of regrets looking away because she thought it made the other girl uncomfortable... but she can't stand to look at her right now.

chaewon only chuckles fakely to assure that the conversation didn't become awkward. "...i think nako is finding me, should we go back?" she suddenly changes the subject and picks her phone from her pocket to pretend to check messages.

minju just agrees. she wants to walk chaewon home, but she's afraid chaewon might get the wrong thing.

it's easy to love, but it's hard to make them love you back.

that's for chaewon.

minju... she isn't planning on being in love yet.

──┈ ➳

chaewon lays down on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"i need to keep myself busy to get all through these nonsense," she mutters and stands up. she makes her way to the side of the room where her keyboard piano is placed.

she puts the plug in the outlet then aggressively pushes the keys after she turns the keyboard on. "i'm such an idiot why am i overthinking this when i mean nothing to her. she probably thinks i'm only one of the persons who are crushing on her." which is true...

"i don't even know if she actually likes or truly appreciate my efforts..." she covers her face with her hands. "i'm losing time to take care of myself because of this."

do you think about me too, minju?
if so, maybe this is love.
or am i just infatuated and too delusional?
then, what does love mean?

she rests her head on the keys, making a loud indescribable tone. "i'm wasting my life for this, but if i'm not doing this, what should i do in my life?"

minju is a gift to her.

'i may be losing hope...

but i'll be patient.

i promise.'

there, she starts to play music.

──┈ ➳

minju stops strumming her guitar when this particular girl suddenly appeared in her mind. she rests the instrument on the bed and takes the music paper that she was using as a guide.

she looks up and stares at the ceiling and closes her eyes. "is it a sin that i can't like her back?"

"does she really like me?"

she doesn't know what's harder. get rejected or reject... or fake your love to someone just to have them treated the way they deserve. fake love. that may end the sweet girl's suffering but minju will be the one that's trapped. it will just kill her mentally. it's lying to yourself that you love someone, that you're happy with someone.

but a voice is telling her to do so. give her a chance until you actually fall for her.

it can be a plan, but you know how life works, it's full of surprises. think about her past plan of rejecting the girl. it didn't happen, and now she's thinking of a different plan.

although, it's not too late. rejecting is the only thing that can set both of them free... the thing that would make their lives less complicated. life isn't even complicated. people's feelings make them. it's interesting.

she doesn't even know why she's thinking about these. they are not friends nor acquaintances.

"oh, chaewon..."

minju can't help but feel bad for her because she has a different idea about love.

we are not for each other.
just thinking about you like this proves it.
we can't have peace in our minds,
and that's not love.

this 'love'... it's unrequited.

⊹ ┈──┈ ⊹