lessons [wk]

- 04

i cant cut the tension surrounding the dinner table with a knife.

weston is sitting directly across from me, and hasnt spoken a word to me since we all sat down. his face is directed to his phone as he shoves food in his mouth bite after bite. every once in awhile he'll catch my gaze, but quickly retracts it once we lock eyes.

kalynn, on the other hand, is eating in her room. she began eating with everyone here before leaving with a huff. if i had to guess, its probably because of the agonizing silence flooding throughout the small room.

so now, its just me and weston left at the table. i'm actually surprised he hasnt gone up and stormed out as well.

"we cant stay like this forever, you know," weston breaks the silence. i doubt he actually wants to talk to me. his phone probably died.

"i know," i nod along quietly. im not entirely sure what he wanted me to say there. he probably didnt really know either.

"so then why are you isolating yourself?" a shaky breath leaves my nose at his words. his tactic of acting like everything is my fault is starting to get frustrating.

my phone buzzed, and the purple icon made me lift the phone to recognize my face id. once it unlocked, i was more than shocked to read, kalynnkoury is live!

i put my phone face down, and return my gaze back up towards the forced conversation between us.

"just, dont want to spark off any more frustration on your half. thats all," i give him a light smile, and play with the food in front of me. im not hungry anymore.

"so, ignoring me completely is supposed to be benefiting me?"

"what? no, no," i shake my head, "i just figured you needed some space."

"i'm begging you to stop assuming the things i want or will do. i didn't want you to give me space. and i still don't know why you said you knew i was going to say no."

"i'm sorry, i'm just trying to do what's best so that we don't ruin our friendship. i'm not trying to make you upset," my tone isn't as sweet as it was before.

he doesnt respond, and instead decides to toy around with his food.

"you know," he starts. he makes eye contact with me, and swivels his fork around his plate as he does.

"hm, weston?" i lean my elbow onto the table and prop my head up on top of my hand. he chews onto the inside of his bottom lip at the bratty position.

"nevermind," he shakes his head, and stands up to put his dish in the sink. its now only me at the table. along with the occasional cat tail against my leg.

"why? cats got your tongue, huh," i laugh a little, and follow his footsteps to put my own plate into the sink.

"just shut up," he says slowly under his breath as he leans over to place his plate into the dishwasher.

"what did i ever do to you?"

"what?" he looks at me like i'm crazy, as if i shouldve known the answer to my question immediately.

"tell me," i shrug while taking a seat by the counter, "i wanna know."

"we wouldve never been in this position if you hadnt been the one to start it."

"over my question? jesus christ weston, give it a rest. i apologized. multiple times. youre the one who got all crazy on me about it. which, by the way, i still havent gotten an explanation for." i do my best to keep my voice down, knowing that kalynn is live in the next room.

he leans over the counter, looking directly into my eyes. i almost wanna back away from the gaze, but i also dont want to make matters worse.

"well why dont you use that pretty little head of yours and let me know when you figure it out," he practically whispers to me. his face sits only a couple of inches away from my own, and i'm convinced i could feel the gentle puffs of his breath against my neck.

he stands up straight now, and goes to walk directly into his room. his door is slammed closed in an instant.

i let out a hefty sigh at the sudden loneliness. i honestly dont know how im gonna make this work. it seems as if the narrative changes every conversation, along with the one at fault.

if i could go back in time and never ask him the question, i would. i just didnt know how to get that across to him.

weston is usually a very friendly person, and is very rarely cold towards anyone. so, for obvious reasons, seeing him be nothing but harsh towards me is utterly painful.

we've been best friends for what seems like forever. i know kalynn is also probably having a hard time with all of this. it must be exhausting to see your two roommates consistently arguing with eachother. all i can do is hope itll blow over soon enough.

i sit up from my previous spot by the kitchen counter to make my way into kalynns room. i cant let myself sit alone with my own thoughts anymore, and it'll also be nice to interact with her chat a bit.

i dont know how long i'll be away from streaming. probably until everything is settled, or until at least my viewers stop talking about it.

i open her door, which grabs her attention right away.

"hi mar," she smiles towards me, her chair slightly turned away from her monitor to look at me.

"hey kalynn," i lay onto her bed stomach first, head propped upon my fists and faced towards chat.

i tilt my head a bit to read chat, and i'm instantly relived theyre keeping their mouths shut about weston and i.

"im gonna play some minecraft if you wanna join? i was thinking of playing 1.17, i havent played yet. so you can play with me, or you can just lay there and watch me, i dont mind."

"ill join! i need something to do anyway. just send me a server ip and i'll join vc," i hop up from her bed, and rush out the door to go to my pc.

i stop outside of westons door, and debate asking him if he wants to join too. after a full ten seconds of tossing the idea back and forth, i decide to do it. maybe itll mend some strings.

i open his door to see him sitting at his desk while his heel taps on the ground repeatedly.

"hey, what's up," he spins in his chair to face me.

"kalynn and i are going on the server, in case you wanna join," i say a bit quieter than i normally would've. obviously, things are rocky between the two of us.

"maybe. i'm gonna talk to chat for a bit, then i might," as usual, his voice is monotone.

"oh shit youre live? i'm sorry, i didn't get a notification so i didn't know. you don't have to join the server i was just offering. have a good stream," i smile at him a bit and immediately shut the door closed.

my feet walk back over into my room. i'm a little thrown off, and i just hope he doesnt get mad at me for coming in.

good lord.

/
im so sorry it's literally been a week. my grandmom just recently got diagnosed w lung cancer for the THIRD time so went down to spend some time w her :(( can only hope she will beat it again:)

thanks for ur patienceee!! i'll try updating more frequently but since it's summer it's kinda a guessing game

VOTES VERY APPRECIATED AND ILY