Life Starter {H.S}

Chapter 10

I run my fingers up and down the mic as I prepare myself to record the last song. The last song for recording today was Banana Pancakes. It's about when my brother had convinced me to stay home and make him banana pancakes. So far, album recording has been going great. I've been in this tiny studio since six this morning. My hair was frazzled from having to sing the same songs over and over again. It's been weeks since the funeral. Just thinking about it, gives me tears in my eyes. Jennifer, my manager, sees the sadness in my eyes and walks into the recording booth.

"Alexis, we all know that doind this now is hard for you. one last song, okay?"

She says. I take in a gulp of air. I sniffle back my runny nose and slid my hands up to the mic. The tears in my eye slid down my cheek and dropped onto my pants. I shivered from the droplet of sadness that now held his stance on my leg. The music was playing in my head before it started playing. Memories of my dad came back into my mind when I picked at the tear drop on my leg.

*FLASHBACK*

"Daddy, noooo!!!!'

I giggled. He was tickling me on the floor of the living room. Back in Downtown Sacramento, the house was quaint, but big enough for our family of five. The carpet was a dull beige throughout the whole house and the blankets were quite nice. The stitching of the blankets was emaculate compared to most things in the house. My blankie - Bernie - was made by my mother's grandma. It had Winnie the Pooh in the middle of it. My father was tickling me to distract me from Bernie being in the wash. I never noticed. He kept me entertained the whole day without Bernie. Speaking of, whatever happened to Bernie?

*FLASHBACK OVER*

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

The recording is over for the day. I set the ice cream in the microwave to soften it up. Tyler was complaining about how I wasn't being fast enough. Sorry to dissapoint, Tyler, but I have sadder things to do. See, even Brain agrees. My arms froze as cold as ice without my sweater. And of course, the only sweater was in the wash. Just like Bernie. Although, it's my only sweater, so I hope I don't lose it. The microwave beeped and beeped and beeped until my fragile fingers ran over the buttons to turn of the beeps. The ice cream inside the heated box was soft now, just soft enough to scoop out with a spoon and eat delectably. After coming home from the studio at Sony Music, I was too sad to eat anything else.

My feet were warm under the sheets of my bed. My mind was blank as Tyler and I watched the Bachelor and ate our ice cream. I tilted my head onto his shoulder and he just shrugged it off. Even though, before my father's death, I thought about him at least once a day. Now that he's gone, I think about him atleast ten times a day.

"You okay?"

Tyler says, whipping the spoon into his mouth. His eyes showed concern for me ever since the incident. He knows that there's nothing he can do about it, but he'll always try his best to comfort me. The bed sheets turned cold as Tyler got up and walked away. But, of course, he paused the Bachelor, because, who wouldn't. Once he came back, he had two sodas in his hand. They were ice cold, slushie-like on the inside as I took a sip. Still thinking about Bernie, I mumbled his name.

"Who the hell is Bernie?"

Okay, maybe I wasn't quiet enough when I mumbled. Tyler shot me a look as if I belonged in a mental institution. He probably thought I was bat-shit crazy. Well, he's right, I am.

"Bernie was a blanket I used to have. I just started to remember him this morning."

"Oh."

Was all he could say. I guess I could understand. The loss of any loved one could make them go depressed, or worse, insane. The time ticking clocking in my head always reminds me that my life is short, so I need to make the most of it. But, that's never going to happen. I've never even dated someone before. No one has ever shown interest of me like that. And, they probably never will. I remember when I was younger, I thought I was going to die alone, old and brittle. I used to cry myself to sleep because no understood really why I acted the way I did. I used to sing all the time, but peoplem always told me to stop. Mostly one person in partically, of which we shall not name.