lovely || gallavich

5. Its my fault

I got out of bed to see everybody was already downstairs. I walked down and saw somebody I thought I'd never see again. Not Frank this time. Monica.

"Ian!" Monica smiled and rushed over to me she gave me the tightest hug. "You look so different! Oh wow!" She says cheerfully. I didn't say anything, still too confused. "I made breakfast! Eat! Eat!" She handed me a plate. I took the plate and looked at her, what was going on? She's gone for 5 years then she returns all of a sudden? I walk over to the where Lip stood at and looked at him. "What's going on?" I ask him. "No idea." Lip shrugs at me. "Frank brought her over here then he passed out on the couch."

"Where's Fiona?" I ask. "V's house. Trying to wrap her head around this I guess." Lip replied then walks upstairs. I put my plate back on the counter and grab my coat. I then walk outside. What the fuck was that? Monica seriously?! Does she think she can just come back like this?? What's her problem anyway! I kick a beer can on the floor. I sit down and try and stop myself from crying. Why would I cry over Monica? She doesn't deserve my tears. Im surprised she remembered me at all. But seriously after everything we've been through because of her, she just walks back in our lives like she hasn't caused enough damage. Well fuck her. I get up and start walking towards the shop. Guess I'm going to work early huh?

Once I reach Kash and Grab the door is locked so I walk over to the back and open the door. "Kash? Linda?" I say walking in. Then I hear Kash's voice. "Oh uh Ian!" He says then walks from behind the shelves. "You okay..?" I ask him cause he looks kind of exhausted. Then I see another man in a hood walk from behind the shelves quickly and out the store. I raise my eyebrows "oh wow. Okay then.." I say. "Don't tell Linda please?" He asks me. "Don't worry Kash.. I won't" I smile at him then walk over to one of the shelves. I mean I already knew he was gay, and I'll admit it we used to hook up but we stopped. It didn't feel right to me. We both kind of moved on though now so it's good right? Kash walks behind the register.

"So uh you seen Mickey around?" He asks me and I look up at him. "He hasn't been around here for a while I wondered if he finally ended up in Juvie." Kash laughs. I let out a small laugh, "yeah I haven't seen him around.." I say. "Maybe we finally got lucky." He smiles.

It was hard lying to everybody but you have to do what you have to do.. Mickey would kill me if anybody found out, If his dad didn't kill him first. I wish it wasn't like this sometimes, what difference does it make if you're gay or not honestly? But people are just stupid and Immature.
Some day though we won't have to lie to people. That'll be the day.

It was after work and I was thinking of heading home, but what if Monica was still there? I couldn't face her. But I shouldn't have to avoid going home just to not see her. Okay fine I'll go home anyways. I start walking towards the house. As I make it I see the door is opened. I walk inside and nobody's there.. Did they all ditch with Monica this time? I call Lip and he answers.
"Hey" he says. "Hey where are you guys?" I ask. "I had a tutor session so I left. Isn't everybody at home?" Lip asks. "No.. door was left open when I came back from work." I reply started to feel a little creeped out. "Damn it Monica. Probably took the kids to some crack house." Lip groans. "Call Fiona maybe she knows where they are?" Lip says. "Alright." I say and hang up.

This is pretty weird, I mean Monica used to ditch all the time and take us with her to some place then leave us on the side of the road so she could go get high in somebody's basement. It's sad how many times we've dealt with this, but at least Debbie and Carl didn't have to experience it. They really care about Frank and Monica it'll break their hearts to know what they're really like.

I call Fiona's number. "Hey?" She answers. "Hey it's Ian, where are you?" I ask her. "I went on a run, is everything okay?" She asks me. Since when does she run? "No um.. Frank and Monica took the kids somewhere me and Lip thought you'd know?" I say. "What?? She said she would stay home and watch them." Fiona sighs. "Damn it!" I can hear her frustration. "Sorry Ian. Shouldn't have left them with her, what was I thinking? I'll be there." She can hangs up. Poor Fiona. She's done so much and all she wanted was a little break but when she gets what all hell breaks loose. I sigh and walk over to the fridge and pull out a beer bottle.

I open it and take a sip then I hear a knock on the door. I go over assuming its Debbie, Carl and Liam but I open it to see Mandy with tears in her eyes. "Mandy? Are you okay what happened??" I ask her. She runs up to hug me. "My dad! He shot Mickey.." she sobs. My eyes open wide. "What?! Is he okay??" I ask her. "He was sent to the hospital.. there was so much blood Ian." She looks up at me. Oh no... was this my fault? Shit. "The cops took my dad in.. but I need.. I need somebody to come with me to see Mickey." She says. "Come on. Let's go it's alright." I grab my coat and reassure her. We then both leave the house.

Can this day get any worse? I can't imagine seeing Mickey like that. It's my fault, why didn't I just listen to him? His dad is such a homophobic maniac I knew things wouldn't end well. Why do they hate us so much?