Karev's heart beats

4) secret for a secret

I walked in to find her sitting on the window ledge, book in hand and Iv out dripping aimlessly to the floor. Having heard me enter the room she look up with a feigned expression of guilt and eyes filled with humour.

"I don't know what happened, officer" she said letting her book rest in her lap. Playing along with her little act I raise my hands still holding the coffee in both.

"Now easy, easy we do t want anyone to get hurt. Remain calm put the book down and calmly step away." She laughed causing me to break my serious face walking over to her and handing her the coffee. "You know you aren't suppose to take this out" I wave the little needle around before putting it back to its rightful place.

"And you know" she paused to take a long sip of coffee "I haven't had a full cup of coffee yet, so your voice is putting me to sleep".

"Hardy har har"

"Another thing, if you keep hanging out here with me all day you might not have a job by the end of the week" she smiled slightly from her little corner.

'Your worth losing everything for' I thought but I'd never say out loud "yeah maybe I should leave your sorry ass before they have me on peds for life" I laughed.

"I think you'd do good on peds ace" she was the only one who called me that, the only one I would allow to as well. Turning to her I sad next to her resting my head another hers stroking her soft hair between my fingertips humming in acknowledgement.

"Tell me about yourself" I mumbled genuinely interested.

"Nothing match to know" she sighed and I looked down at her.

"You tell me something I'll tell you something" I suggested.

"How serious we going" she asked looking up at me with her gorgeous hazel eyes.

"All the way" I hummed 'all the way' she mirrored.

"I was in foster care from the age of two" she sighed

"My mum has schizophrenia" she looked up at me "I'm so sorry" she said genuinely. "It's not your fault" I smiled at her kind heart.

"I'm allergic to blueberry"

"I got into university on a wrestling scholarship" she giggled slightly "what" I laughed at the cuteness.

"Nothing, nothing. I just can't imagine you in a wrestling uniform" she smiled.

"Umm....when I was 12 I was arrested for stealing food the cops felt so bad for me he gave me his lunch and let me sleep at the station" I smiled at this thinking someone had taken care of my angel. "His name was detective Thornton he checks on me every once and a while still always brings with him a ham and cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps" she laughed shaking her head.

"I was in 17 foster homes within five years, my favourite though was this man" she looked at me genuinely interested, I had never opened up this much to anyone it was like a weight of my shoulders "he would come home early in the morning from night shifts and sleep all day so there was this five minute gap where I'd eat breakfast and he'd eat his dinner, he'd ask me how my day was. It wasn't much but it was the world to me" she looked at me with sad eyes and warmth that made my heart explode in my chest.

"When I was about four or five" she fiddled with the hem of her shirt taking a steady breath "I was in foster care and I had this one family" tears where now evident in her eyes " the would um, t-they w-w-would w-whip me, if I d-did something wrong" her voice cracked and my breathing stoped. "I'm s-sorry, that was too deep". She goes to move away from me but I don't let her holding on tighter when the words fall from my lips. Words I have never spoken aloud.

"My dad was a smoker" she stopped trying to move from my hold freezing in place.

"Alex you don't hav-" but I cut her of.

"He'd put his cigarettes out on me" I heard her breath stall as mine had.

"We are both broken aren't we" she sighed her head now resting on my chest giving me a warm and giddy feeling similar to wanting to be sick. Butterflies.

"Yeah, but look on the plus side, we got jello" I smile as she laughs.