Karev's heart beats

6) unhinged

Maddie's POV (tigger warning all of the chapter for multiple things including suicidal thoughts, self harms in the variety of food, physical, emotional and other and mentions of death and violent/ angered behaviour)

I woke up in his arms the amber hues shining down on us, the scene kind of looked like the opening credits of a cheesy 80's movie. You know the one where it slowly pans up to see the naked two characters in the white sheets.

Spoiler alert we didn't have sex, trust me you will know if that happens. No he held me all night his grip unwavering and I have never felt more safe.

All my life I've been invisible, a wallflower, an outcast bug when he looks at me it so cheesy, but when he looks at me it's like I'm the only woman in the world. Cheesy I know.

My eyes flutter as I stare at his face, and for the first time since the 'incident' as he calls it he looks at peace. Not a line of worry blemishing his face.

Suddenly the bliss of the moment is torn from us by the ringing of or pagers, I can't help but let out a giggle as I see his now angered face.

When I giggle he stopped his movements turning towards me our pagers still ringing in the distance.

"Do you think we will get in trouble if we just....lost...our pagers" he whispers his eyes full of warmth.

I laugh shaking my head to witch he places his forehead against my own humming in content before quite literally throwing himself from the bed, landing with a thud against the wooden floor a groan escaping his lips.

"Is my floor ok" I ask to witch he playfully glares at me.

"I'll make some quick breakfast" he says using his fluffy socks to slide along the floor.

"We don't have time" I call after him, stopping in his tracks he turns to me a serious expression upon his face. "Your eating end of discussion" and with that he is gone.

Making my way to the bathroom I throw on whatever I grab from the floor, or should I say pig sty of my room, and throw my head over the sink.

Looking up I'm greeted by the sight of a depressed looking albino panda. Laughing at my own comparison I open the mirror popping open the pain killers.

One, Two. I take staring at the bottle thinking how easy it would be. Forgetting about everything for a split second and letting the bottle fall empty in my hand.

At least twenty white pills decorate my palm, I have no intention of taking them, no intention of ending it. Just a thought, an escape hatch incase it all goes tits up.

Before I can even move to put the pills back the Ford burst open and a smiling Alex, or should I say my ace is starting at me.

"Hey angel, you have fuck all, I mean no-" he stops as he sees me. Standing in front of the sink pills in my hand the exact same room he found me last time, the same kind of pills, and the same bags beneath my eyes.

His face grows pale. "Alex it's not what it looks like I swear" but his eyes don't stop scanning the room, over the empty bottle, over the razors in the door, over the medicine cabinet.

But he walks off, my breathing heavy panic at what's to come but all I'm met with is silence.

Walking back through his face is stone, his eyes red and in his hand his buckles turned white whilst holding a screw driver. Without a single word he proceeds to take the Ford of carrying it into the hallway.

"Alex what the he-"

"Door stays off" he said quietly.

"Wh-"

"Door stays off" he repeated his tone firm. "You need to shower, there's a door" he points.

"It's glass" I interrupt.

"I'm a doctor I've seen it before, you need to use the toilet, I'll look away"

"But-" I start but swing his face I bite my tongue.

"You do not take a single pill, breath mint, shave, run of after a meal, scratch your skin, or go near so much as a candle" his voice grows angrier and angrier as he goes on thinking of everything he could "without me there". Tears are flowing down his face.

"Ale-"

"Do you understand me angel" he says softly cupping my face in his large rough hands "I may call you angel but I'm not ready for that yet".

"Okay" I whisper but he hears.

"Okay" he breaths out. "I'll get you breakfast on the way, and before you speak you are eating, and if you do not send me a message at least every half an hour on the dot I will hunt you down and drag you by your ear to give you a check up....do you understand me?". His voice unstable as if holding in emotion.

"I understand" I cry against his palms.

"Ok let's go" he grabs my hand prepared to drag me from the house.

"Umm Ace" I can't help but giggle slightly

"What" he says his voice so much softer now and his eyes filled with something I've never seen before.

"Your not wearing any pants" looking down at his bare legs he throws his head back slightly shaking it as he does so.

My heart beats a little faster as I see his smile, and the way his eyes shine. I just hope tomorrow is uneventful.

Oh who am I kidding it's me.