My love; Allanah xx

I miss her

Two months ago I lost my love, I haven't been the same since then. I have cried more times then I thought were possible...each day. I went through a stage of just using people because I wanted them to feel the pain that I was feeling. I need her but she doesn't love me anymore. She said she does but I can see it in her eyes that she doesn't because she used to look at me with love, now I don't know what it is that she looks at me with, but I know it's not love.

She found someone else.. They don't date but she really likes her, and she lights up every time that the girl comes in to the room. I hate it. I need her back, she thinks I am just saying that but I literally need her. In the last few weeks I have cut a lot, I can't stop anymore. I hate the fact that I have lost the love of my life because of stupid mistakes.

Two weeks ago, she asked for me back but I said no because I was scared, and last week I became ready, so I asked her back out, and this time she said yes, but ended it the next day because of this other girl and because she didn't want to hurt her, but she didn't mind hurting me. I have tried several times to get her back since then but every time, she just pushes me away further and now I really don't see us ever happening again. The funny thing is that I would literally die for her, but I don't think she would do the same for me anymore, and that's what hurts the most, is the fact that I know that I can't call her mine anymore, she doesn't care anymore, she would rather someone that she has known for five weeks rather than someone that she has known for three years. But that's ok, because when this girl breaks her heart, she will know how I felt when she broke mine. But the truth is that I know that I will forgive her for anything she does, no matter how much it hurts me, I will forgive her instantly and take her back whenever she comes back to me, if she ever does, because that is what love does to you, it makes you forgive your love for anything and everything, because all you want is to have them back in your arms...