Circus of Longing

The Ring of Fire

As Da Som was trying to figure out, well, what she was trying to figure out she herself didn't know, OK she was figuring out what Bong had meant when she said figure out yourself. "Excuse me, Are you Kim Bong?" A tiny old man asked in a reed-like voice. He was wearing a half-sleeved white shirt and his thin hair were sticking at the side of his scalp. His slouched shoulders made him appear older and he was trembling, perhaps due to freezing cold.

Da Som was not sure she saw it correctly, but she felt a flicker of mercilessness in Bong's eyes. His expression was hard.

"Hwang Yun, it's time now. Come to the ring of fire" Bong said in a quiet but firm voice.

"Thank you," the old man folded his hands and then fell on his knees, tears streaming on his face.

Bong side-stepped from him, leaving the old man wailing on ground. It was too cold and the old man would get chillblains if he didn't get up. Da Som decided then and there that she hated Kim Bong. She helped the old man get up, brushed the snow from his trousers and helped him walk towards the centre of the circus.

Nine Rings were arranged in a line with fire engulfing them. Bong was standing solemnly in front of a ring. The tents were fluttering around like grim rrapers. Da Som felt they were being watched but no one was visible. Snow was falling but it had no impact of the ring fires.

"Proclaim your crime, Hwang Yun, the second child of Hwang Rok, Cheongasam."

Hwang Yun's voice was shaking, "I loved my Hyung(Elder Brother), more than even my Oma and Ahbujji. Hyung was twelve years older than me. Oma and Ahbujji were busy in fields as we were just poor farmers. But Hyung, he sang me lullabies whenever I woke up at the middle of night scared from a nightmare. He set straight the big boys who beat me or made fun of me. We were always with each other."

Hwang Yun's voice hardened then, "But Hyung married to a peasant's daughter when he was eighteen. Then Hyung's daughter was born. Hyung had no time for me now. Whenever I went to play with him, he was either cooing at his daughter or listening to his wife singing."

Hwang Yun said after a hiccup, "One day big boys beat me black and blue. Oma and Appa were at City to sell their produce. I was crying in a corner. Suddenly Hyung came and slapped me saying that his daughter was ill and she could not sleep due to my continuous crying. That night I killed my niece."

Da Som's blood froze.

"My sister-in-law died after a month from grief. I know Hyung knew but he didn't say anything and the night his wife died, he left home and never returned. Every night I try to sleep, I wake up to the sound of the baby crying and when I open my eyes, I see my sister-in-law staring at me, doing nothing except staring, with pure, unquenched hate."

"It begins now..."

Bong waved the same purple silk cloth I saw at the well

Snow...spark...silk...and dark
That's all we need...

The old man leaped across the ring of fire but his a got entangled and his sleeve caught fire.

"Stop him," Da Som screamed.

The old man then leaped across the second ring of fire.

"Please stop," Da Som knew the old man killed his baby niece and she should not feel sorry for him but she wanted nothing more than a deity to come and absolve the old man of all his crimes. He was so old, weak, pitiable and human.

"Please," Da Som tug over Bong's sleeve. The old man's face was now bloodied.

Bong said, "You are no one to grant him forgiveness."

Finally the old man had crossed the ninth ring of fire. Da Som exhaled in relief.

Then suddenly she heard a screeching wail coming from sky and the fire of all the rings, taking the shape of a dragon, then a woman, then a dragon again swallowed the old man whole. Bong closed Da Som's eyes.

Da Som finally collapsed on the ground.