Percy Jackson and Chaos

Fixing the Broken

I didn't really know what to do now. I was of two minds, two people, personalities and feelings all shoved inside one singular being. I felt the whole hearted happiness from the love of the woman currently koala gripping my torso however I also felt helplessly heartbroken. Like I wanted to crawl into the deepest crevasse in Tartarus and cry for an eternity. I felt like my heart was being ripped into pieces over and over again from the betrayal from my brother. No, not my brother, Order's Brother. And the loss of my one true love Eros. But my one true love was currently digging her fingernails so hard into my back that it was starting to bleed.

I made no changes to my outward appearance as this tornado of thought and emotion racked through me. I couldn't let the people around me, the people that loved me. Me, Percy. See that I was slowly losing control. Losing my mind. I needed to be strong, I can't break, not now, not after everything that has happened. Being chained up for a millennium I finally had the chance to live again. I wasn't going to throw that away. I had lived as an assassin, I had killed so many people, maybe I did deserve the torture of a broken heart forever. Maybe that would be my curse.

I couldn't tell Eros that I was back now. I wouldn't break up his marriage. I would have to watch as his life went on without me. I would live with my love Annabeth and we would grow old. Well, she would grow old and die and I would then have two broken hearts. What would happen to me then? Would I die? Could I die? Would I have to force my existence to fade as there was nothing left for me in this existence. Even if I did fade I wouldn't be reunited with either of my love's I would be alone, forever in torment. A forever with betrayal and heart-break.

I froze my thoughts. The lines between where I ended and Order started was starting to blur, no it had gone past blurring. It was molding, shaping something I couldn't quite understand. I was becoming someone else entirely. I mixture of the two souls, memories and experiences. A person of my own. I didn't really feel like a person anymore. A bipedal life form I should say. I felt like an entity, a complete and yet broken force. I still had emotions, thoughts of my own but I was unable to say whether I was Percy. Or Order. Or anyone. I felt mindless and yet so lost inside my own mind I couldn't comprehend the outside world.

There was air, I had to breathe that to keep this body alive. I took in a breath, how long are you supposed to hold it for? I think I held it a little too long as the other humans in the room were staring at me. I let it out slowly, soundlessly.

Blinking, these humans were blinking, that's what the eyelids were for I supposed. I tried it out. flexing the muscle. They shut and opened again. Launching me into darkness for a millisecond before wrenching back open once again, letting the blinding colours back into my vision.

"Percy?" I think that was my name as no one else answered the blonde man. Luke! Some thing inside me screamed, apparently that was this particular human's name.

"Yes?" I tried my voice box. Deeper than I had imagined, it seemed to reverberate, almost echo on its own. Yet there was no echo for anyone else's voice. I think that it should have been strange as per the other human's reactions. Even the one on my lap seemed disturbed. She leant back, her golden hair falling around her face. She had a rather pretty face. All the features were symmetrical and she had gorgeous grey irises. I felt like I was getting lost in them when someone else spoke.

"Are you okay?" This was another girl, she had shorter hair and it was a murky brown but it really suited her. Bianca. What a strange question. Then again who was I to question what was strange. Maybe the question should be; Who am I?

"Yes Bianca, we are fine." This only seemed to worry them further. I thought I had said the appropriate response to the human's question. I couldn't understand why the beautiful girl suddenly leapt up and away from me and why the others were even more wary. "What is the problem?" I felt cold without her, like something was pulling me towards her in a non physical way. I wanted to pull her back to me and never let her go. I didn't even know her name, and this time the inside was strangely quiet, there was no name shouted at me.

"Percy?" The pretty girl looked at me, scanning me, trying to figure me out. Maybe she could give me an answer. "You said we, instead of I. Are you sure you're you?"

I feel like I was supposed to be hiding this change from these people but I couldn't remember why, I couldn't remember much really, or was it that I remembered too much? I had a lot of questions but no answers. Maybe the pretty girl would answer some, she seemed like she was really intelligent. I should just ask.

"I didn't realize." Making sure to use the first person pronoun this time as it seemed that was expected. "You seem smart, perhaps you could tell me." This statement seemed to make them even more wary if that was possible. "Who am I?"

She looked like she wanted to cry. I think I had upset her. I didn't want that. Perhaps that was why I felt like I was supposed to keep this a secret. I felt hurt that I had upset her, like I would do anything in the entire universe just to see her smile. She must be very important to me.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to upset you, please, tell me what I can do to stop you from crying. I don't like it when you cry." She seemed shocked, and even more curious, it seemed to hold the tears at bay so I was happy enough for now.

"What do you remember?"

"Everything, Nothing. Too much, too little. I think I was someone once. But I have a feeling that was a long time ago now. My it has been so long. I don't even know how old I am. I think I once had a name too. You said it a few years back." I turned to the blonde man. I no longer remembered his name.

"Years?" He mumbled, I barely caught it, it was so fast. Why was everything moving so fast but so slow? He seemed confused. Had we not been sitting here for years? It felt like years at least I thought it was years.

"Annabeth" I said. It shocked them, they started at me wide eyed. Why? It was a name. Of a long lost love. I turned back to the pretty girl. "You remind me of her, I loved her a long time ago now. She'll be long dead ." My heart felt like it was splitting again. I had lost so many loves. "Maybe it is time for me to join her. I have been here too long, I hope she doesn't think I left her, I don't remember saying goodbye. I wasn't able to say goodbye to the last one either. Eros, I think was his name. He was a lovely man. I think my love for Annabeth was stronger somehow. It hurts, like my heart is being ripped to pieces. I shall forever be alone, unless I fade. Maybe that is the right thing to do." I looked up, it seems I had been looking down. The pretty girl was crying even more now, tears dripped off her face onto the marble floor. They seemed to take an age to plop, splaying salt water in all directions. I blinked another time letting the world fall to darkness and then brighten once more. I think I quite liked blinking.

I decided to let go. I should fade. I was broken there would be no fixing whatever was left now. I could feel it before I could see it. It was like small particles of me were floating away. My hands were starting to go first, I watched as my fingers crumbled into nothing, it creeped up my arms slowly, taking forever to do so. At least it felt that way.

My vision was suddenly interrupted, the pretty girl was stood in front of me. She placed her hand on my fading cheek. I felt her hand dip slightly where there was a hole. Annabeth suddenly flashed before my eyes, at least the last thing I would see would be her. Her gorgeous grey eyes, her bouncing princess curls. I poured all the love I had left into that one last glance. She gasped. her red rimmed eyes widened slightly and before I knew it her lips were on mine. I silently thanked her for that one last gift. As I closed my eyes and melted into her kiss before drifting away.

Annabeth

He was gone. I watched as he forgot, as his mind played tricks on him, passing it as years instead of seconds. I wondered hopelessly if I had kissed him a moment sooner would he have stayed, would he have been my Percy again? Or would it have not even mattered. He was gone, he spoke about me as though I had died eons ago. Years had passed. He didn't even recognize my face until that last moment. Until that one second where he looked at me as he always had done.