Disappointment Child.

It All Started 21 Years Ago...

"I SWEAR TO GOD TAMARA IF YOU DON'T FUCKING GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED I WILL DRAG YOU OUT MYSELF!" my mother yells. I flip her off from the inside of my room and slowly started getting out of bed. I don't think she realizes that the more she tells me to do something, the more I don't want to do it. I'm finally all the way out of bed and as I enter the bathroom I get a glance at my appearance. Ew. My hair is black and is all fucked up as if I'm hungover from getting shitfaced. I have a slim figure with a tattoo across my chest that goes down my arms. I have very pale skin that compliments my dark black hair and blue eyes. While walking back into my room I brush my teeth and put my hair into a high ponytail. I look in my closet and grab a big black long sleeve with loose light blue jeans. As im putting my shoes on, my door opens.

"Hey Tamara, we're going to leave soon" Esmeray says. She's so beautiful with her big black eyes and her long black hair. She has such an innocent and fragile vibe to her and all I want to do is protect her aura. She doesn't deserve this life and I promise to get her out of this.

"Thank you Esmeray, i'm coming right now"

I go down the hall and into the living room where I find my dad sitting watching TV as my mother pops a cigarette in her mouth perched up against the front door, cocky motherfucker. I look around and see that Amais already left as he's not in the living room waiting for us to leave. I hate not having a car because it means I have to ride with my mother. Jensen is already in the car along with Esmeray and I figure they're all waiting for me. I grab an apple from the fruit bowl and head out the front door. As im passing my mother, she smacks me in the back of the head.
"Ever take that long again and i'll leave your ass to walk to school."
"Go ahead, see if I give a shit."

I know I should respect my mother, but I have no respect for her at all. After she had Jensen, she started getting into drugs and alcohol. She ruined her life and everything she lived for. She would drive me around drunk when I was 7 and go to random houses which I later realized were her drug providers. She ruined my life and took away my innocence and childhood. She neglected me growing up and did the same to Esmeray.
The difference is, I protected Esmeray. I gave her love and protected her from my mom, I gave her food when she was hungry and did her laundry. I fucking raised her and I wont let the same thing happen to her.

As im thinking all this, my mom starts playing her music in the car, distracting my from being able to think. She glances over at me while i'm putting some eyeliner on.

"Please, pay attention to the road." I say in hopes she will stop looking at me.
"Why are you putting makeup on?"
"Because I feel like it." That's a lie. I put makeup on when I feel like i'm going to cry because it gives me a reason not to cry. The reason being, id fuck up my makeup.
"It's only eyeliner and a bit of lipstick. No biggie." I say. She never just leaves me alone.

We first drop Esmeray off at Carter Middle School. I get out and walk her to the front gate where I hug her and wish her a good day at school. Her principal then takes her in as she does with all the students that get dropped off to make sure they get inside safely. Next is my stop, Alpha Charter High School.