Minsik Scenarios

Mistakes

I'd been trying to quit, but things had been hectic this week in preparation for my upcoming album and I had barely gotten any sleep. So when I felt the urge to have a smoke, I gave in. And soon enough, I was on my third cigarette. I felt terrible and great at the same time.

"Minsik," I heard her call from behind me. Her footsteps came closer. "Baby, that's your third one..." her voice trailed off.

I felt guilty enough as it was, and hearing her point it out made me feel so much worse. I was honestly more mad at myself than her when I snapped. "Stop pointing out every fucking thing wrong I do!" I exhaled, smoke releasing out of my mouth. She hated the smell, I knew that. I also knew she hated me smoking because it was bad for my health. And I had just yelled at her for caring about me. Fuck. I turned around to apologize, but she was gone. I heard the front door close gently. I sighed, putting out my cigarette.

I wanted to go after her and apologize, but I knew she probably wanted some space from me. A few hours later, I felt hungry and decided to order in some delivery. She still wasn't home yet, but I decided to order her favorite, pork dumplings, in the hopes that she would come home soon. After I ordered, I sent her a text saying that I was sorry and that I ordered food for lunch if she wanted to come home and eat. She left me on read, and I flopped on the couch, knowing that no reply meant she would not be joining me for lunch. She'd only been gone a few hours, and I was already losing my mind with worry about where she was and if she was okay.

As I paced around the house, I saw that she hadn't taken her keys. At the sound of knocking on the door, I rushed over to unlock it. It was just the delivery driver, though, not her. After I paid and tipped, I placed the food on the table and just stared at it, my appetite disappearing as I looked at her unoccupied seat. Opening my phone once again, I hesitantly tapped her contact, unsure if I should call her or not. I decided to after a few seconds, desperately wanting to hear her voice. The phone rang twice before I was sent to voicemail, meaning that she had declined my call.

I decided to leave a message. "Jagi, I'm really so sorry. I know you're still mad, but please come home soon or just let me know you're all right. I love you so much." I ended the call and walked around the house again, eventually ending up in our bedroom. My eyes landed on the pack of cigarettes that had been left on the floor of the balcony. I picked them up and gathered the rest I had bought, throwing them in the trash, feeling disgusted with myself. I went for a walk to clear my head, and by the time I came back, I somehow felt worse. I went back inside and felt a wave of tiredness hit me. I felt like I hadn't slept in two days, and then I realized that I actually hadn't. I climbed into bed, making sure to keep my phone on the nightstand in case she called me.

It was dark when I woke up, and I grabbed my phone to check the time. 8:49 PM and no texts or calls. I sighed and sat up. It was killing me not knowing where she was. I started typing up another text. Please let me know you're somewhere safe. Before I hit send, an incoming call interrupted. Her picture popped up on my screen along with the buttons to accept or decline. I swear I hit accept faster than I had ever done before. "Jagi? Are you alright?"

"Minsik, can you come pick me up?" she asked quietly over the phone.

God, hearing her voice after so many hours of silence from her was one of the best feelings in the world. Although, I wasn't exactly ecstatic because she had called me Minsik instead of babe or baby, which meant she was still somewhat mad at me.

"Yeah, of course, jagi. Where are you at?" I furrowed my brows as I waited for her to answer.

She told me the name of the street and then said goodbye, ending the call. Anxiety bubbled inside of me because it was already dark outside and she'd given a street name instead of a specific address, meaning she was outside on that street. Or was I overthinking? I reminded myself that I didn't have time to think and rushed to the car and started driving immediately since I knew where the street was. It took me a few minutes to get there, and my heart pounded as I reached the street and scanned around for her. I didn't see her, so I parked and got out of the car. She appeared in front of me a moment later, coming out of a convenience store with a small bag in her hand. 

I held my left hand out to her since she would always hold my left hand in her right one when we were walking, but she surprised me by extending her left hand. I quickly switched hands and held onto her, walking back to my car. She walked beside me silently, not meeting my eyes as I looked at her. I opened the door for her and she let go of my hand as she climbed in. I closed the door and took a deep breath as I walked around to get into the driver's seat, unsure of what the drive home with her would be like. I got in and as I was putting my seatbelt on, her voice broke the silence.

"Minsik."

I clicked my seatbelt into the holder and looked at her. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," her voice cracked, and I could see tears in her eyes from the light of the convenience store sign. 

"No, my love, you don't have to apologize for anything." I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over to cup her face in my hands, using my thumbs to wipe away her tears. "I'm sorry, I know you just want what's best for me. Actually, I threw them all out today."

Her eyes widened in surprise and she reached a hand up to my arm, gently pulling it away from her face. I put my other arm down from her face, wondering what she was going to say to me.

"I did something stupid today," she told me, looking down. "And... I'm afraid you won't feel the same way about me anymore."

I sat up straight, the worst scenarios popping into my mind. But I knew she would never do anything to hurt me. "Just tell me," I whispered. 

She lifted her sleeve on her right arm and I leaned closer to look at it. Clear plastic film was placed over a part of her upper arm and I could see a butterfly underneath. It was small, but I could see it had some intricate detailing on it.

"That's the stupid thing you did today?" I asked, wondering why she thought I wouldn't love her anymore because of it.

She nodded slowly. "You don't like girls with tattoos," she mumbled.

"Aish, but it's so pretty, just like you. And I love you no matter what, even with a tattoo." I pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"But what if I decide to get more?" she asked as her brows quirked up. 

"It's up to you, jagi. I'll still love you regardless."

"You really are the best boyfriend, Kwon Minsik." She beamed at me, and I swear I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach.