us musicians.

Good Enough

Jade's PoV
I'd woken up little under a hour ago. Perrie hadn't left my side, not once whilst I had arisen from my slumber, not once whilst I was asleep according to Zayn. I was so grateful, but at the same time, I wished she would get some rest. She looked shattered.
I'd convinced Perrie to lay in the bed with me, so we could snuggle. Everyone had been sent on errands, you see. Some were at the pharmacy, some where at Pizza Hut, some where buying endless amounts of magazines, and food, etc.
I heard Perrie snore beside me, and I knew she had drifted off - finally. I quietly and carefully lumbered out of the bed, wincing. My stomach was in pieces. And then I remembered.
I padded into the kitchen, to fetch a glass of water. My every move ached, my limbs feeling as useful as a ragdoll's.
All of a sudden, I heard someone gasp. I turned, to see Harry, sat at the island, drinking a cup of tea.
I followed his gaze to my body, and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. I was only in my underwear from the night before. That meant black lace - practically see through. I crossed my arms across my chest, feeling my cheeks flush.
Then, I realised Harry wasn't looking there, he was looking at the bruises. The dozens of bruises scattering my body.
"My God, what did he do to you?" he breathed. He set the mug down, and brought me my black silk nightgown. He helped me put it on, his breath tickling my neck. I felt my heart beat a little faster, as I stammered, thanking him, in a small voice. I hadn't got much strength.
Harry led me to the sofas, where he asked if I wanted anything to eat or drink. I shook my head. I felt way to sick to even think about food.
We sat in a comfortable silence, Harry watching me intently.
"He was cheating" I told him, quietly.
Harry's eyebrows furrowed.
"It was with some Victoria Secret Angel - a blonde one probably" I scoffed. I was trying my hardest not to crumble - but it wasn't working. Harry could see right through. He let me continue, his jaw tightening.
"I've been with him for nearly three years. I don't want to think about how long he's been with her."
Harry clasped my hand in his. I managed a small smile.
"I can't stop thinking about what's wrong with me. I don't know if it was the constant travelling, or how I'm always busy. And then I wonder if it was me, just me. Like, I'm not pretty enough for him, that I have a flat chest, or I'm too small. Or what if it's because I'm too boring, or that I'm not funny enough. Or what if it's the little things, like if I embarrassed him at clubs, or my accent is stupid. He never gave me a reason, he just told me I wasn't good enough, and that I'm worthless. Worthless. I feel worthless. I feel so empty, hollow even. And it's funny, in all our songs we sing about independence, or how women don't need men. Now, without him, I hurt. I hurt everywhere. My heart feels like it's frozen over, that there's nothing there anymore. I close my eyes, and I can see him, looking at me with such anger, and bitterness, and I can't stop thinking about how I was able to stare into those eyes and feel safe, like he could protect me from anything. But I'm supposed to protect myself, and I couldn't protect myself from him. I'm nothing now. And it's so pathetic. I'm so pathetic. God, I can't stop hurting!"
I ranted, tears falling heavy, with every mention of him. Harry's teeth were gritted, his knuckles were white. Why is is so affected? Why's he so angry?
"What did he do to you, Jade? Tell me, please." His voice wasn't demanding. In fact, it was warm. Gentle even.
"Well, I found him outside. I was sneaking up behind him. I was going to kiss him. But that's when I heard him. Heard him talking with the other girl. He . . . it was disgusting. I felt sick. I feel sick. I knocked the phone out of his hands. Well, I threw it. That's probably what got him so mad. Oh, I don't know. Anyway, I was shouting, screaming at him. I started to cry, sob even, pounding my fist against his chest. He pushed me away, shouting back at me. I pushed at him back, when he slapped me - that's where this cut came from" I gestured to the graze on my cheekbone. "So, I punched hit in his . . . nose I think. That's why my knuckles are broken. He grabbed me by my neck, and forced me up against the wall. I knees him in his balls, and went to run when he pushed me to the ground - that's why my knees are all cut up. I then tried to get up, but he kept kicking my ribs. He just kept kicking." There was a lump in my throat, tears falling down my face.
"He then pulled me up by my wrists, and laughed. That's when he called me worthless. He called me some other stuff, but that doesn't matter. He pushed me back down, and walked away. He knew I wouldn't go back into the party. He left me, to just lay there and bleed. He didn't care about the blood. He doesn't care about me. When I was that floor, pain coursing through my body, I truly wanted to die. I feel like that would make everything better, if I just died."
Harry cursed, and grabbed my face softly in his hands. He looked in my eyes, and I stared back into his. They were really gorgeous eyes . . .
"Listen, you aren't worthless. Or pathetic. Or whatever else that prick called you. You, Jade Thirlwall, are amazing. You are a stunning, intelligent, inspirational, funny and talented human being, who is the reason for so many people's smiles, mine included. That asshole isn't good enough to be filling your every thought, and he sure as hell isn't going to get away with damaging you like this - both physically and emotionally. Jade, you are loved, and we all hate seeing you like this. You, are such a beautiful person, inside and out, and no single person could change that."
I was speechless. That was perhaps the kindest, most heartfelt thing anyone's ever said to me. Ever. And it was certainly more than he had ever said.
Harry wiped the tears from my face, and kept his hand there. I was captivated by him. He was so handsome, and he looked genuinely concerned, as if he really cared for me. Suddenly, he started to lean in, and I felt trapped. Did I want to kiss him? Did I feel this way about him? Was I ready?
No, I wasn't ready.
I turned my head to the side, and kissed Harry's cheek instead.
"Thank you, Harry" was all I said, sincerely. I then placed my head on his shoulder, and nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck. Somehow, a blanket was soon draped over my practically bare body (which was thankfully still covered by my gown).
I drifted off to sleep again, not long after. But before I felt my eyes shut, I whispered one last thing.
"I could stay here forever. I feel safe."